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lila-lou · 14 days ago

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✨High School Sweetheart - Pt 9✨

Summary: You come face-to-face with a ghost from your past—Dean Winchester. Five years after he vanished from your life without a word, and now he´s here. But neither you nor he are teenagers anymore.

-Listen to "Chance with you"-

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, Language, Fuff, Angst

Word Count: 8800

A/N: English isn’t my first language, please be lenient. 💙

He met your gaze, a mixture of regret and understanding in his eyes. “Guess I left you with more than a few bruises that didn’t heal so easy”. His voice was quiet, and for once, he wasn’t hiding behind his usual bravado. “I know I… wasn’t around to help pick up the pieces”.

You looked down, tracing the edge of your wine glass with your finger, the years of hurt and healing flashing through your mind. “I tried to let it go, you know? Tried to be… okay”. You took a breath, steadying yourself. “But it’s hard when you can’t shake the feeling that something’s missing. Like you’re trying to move on, but there’s always this empty space that just… doesn’t go away”.

Dean opened his mouth, the words forming on his lips, but you gently raised a hand, stopping him before he could speak. “It’s not your fault, Dean”, you said softly, your voice steady but threaded with the honesty you’d held back for so long. “Eight years ago, you were upfront with me. You never promised me forever; I knew what I was getting into with you”.

You looked down again. “I just… I guess I let myself believe that maybe, just maybe, you’d feel enough to come back. That one day, you’d walk back through that door on your own”.

Dean’s face fell, the weight of your words pressing down on him, and he took a shaky breath, the flicker of guilt and sorrow unmistakable in his eyes. “I thought about it… about coming back”, he admitted, his voice barely more than a whisper. “More times than you could imagine. But every time, I told myself you deserved better than a guy who could only give you bits and pieces. I didn’t want to hold you back from having… everything”.

You looked up, meeting his gaze, a mixture of tenderness and hurt in your expression. “Everything, Dean?”, You let out a soft, sad chuckle. “What’s everything without the person you can’t stop thinking about?”.

The vulnerability in your voice broke something in him, and he reached across the table, his hand finding yours, his touch warm and grounding. His thumb traced gentle circles on your hand, grounding you both. “I was scared”, he admitted, his voice rough with emotion. “Scared I couldn’t be what you needed… that I’d mess up something real and leave you worse off”. He hesitated, his grip on your hand tightening slightly. “But not a day went by when I didn’t regret it. Not one”.

Dean’s grip on your hand tightened, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that held years of unspoken words and hidden fears. “I wanted you to have… kids”, he began, his voice rough, each word a struggle, as if saying it out loud made it hurt more. “That house we always talked about, a life, (Y/N). Not this”. He gestured vaguely, encompassing everything that his life had become—the dangerous hunts, the constant running, the never-ending fight against things that most people only read about in horror novels.

He let out a heavy sigh, his gaze dropping for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. “It’s not just ghosts and werewolves, sweetheart”, he said softly, his voice filled with a quiet urgency. “It’s demons, things darker and… worse than I could ever explain. And you don’t belong on that path. I can’t stand the thought of you living in fear—sleeping in dirty motels, wondering if you’re going to wake up the next morning, or if some creature’s going to turn up and…”. He trailed off, shaking his head, his eyes brimming with something raw and unshielded.

“I want you to have peace”, he murmured, his voice so low it was almost a whisper. “To feel safe, to have that family, to go to sleep at night knowing you’re going to wake up safe in the morning. I want you to have a life that’s… beautiful, and not shadowed by the things I can’t escape”.

You felt the weight of his words settle over you, the quiet, profound ache behind every syllable. Dean had left, not because he didn’t love you, but because he loved you too much to drag you into his world. The realization washed over you like a wave, the years of wondering and hurting suddenly making a different kind of sense.

“But Dean”, you whispered, your voice trembling, “that life… it doesn’t mean much if you’re not there”. You reached up, your hand brushing gently along his jaw, grounding him in your touch, your voice thick with emotion. “I get what you wanted for me, but… all I wanted was you”.

Dean looked away, his jaw clenching as he wrestled with the emotions your words stirred up. You could see it—the conflict, the regret, the deep-seated belief that he was doing what was best for you, no matter how much it tore him apart.

“(Y/N)”, he murmured, his voice thick, each word weighed down with guilt and sorrow. “You don’t understand… you deserve so much more than what I can give you. My life, it’s… it’s a war zone. I’ve seen things, been through things I’d never want you to know about”. His voice broke slightly, and he took a shaky breath, steadying himself. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to stay. But wanting isn’t the same as doing right by you”.

His thumb brushed over your knuckles, a gesture that felt as comforting as it was heartbreaking. “If I stay… you’ll never be free. You’d be tied to a life that would keep you looking over your shoulder, wondering if I’ll come back each time I leave. And you’d see me—”. He hesitated, his voice filled with a quiet self-loathing that nearly undid you. “You’d see me worn down, one hunt after another, one scar after the next. I can’t do that to you”.

Tears pricked your eyes, but you refused to look away, to let him turn this into a goodbye. “But, Dean… I don’t care about any of that”, you said, your voice thick with the love you’d held onto for so long. “You’re not just some guy who comes and goes—you’re… you’re the one person I never stopped loving. I don’t care about the scars, the hunts, the danger. I care about you. And if you think you’re sparing me from something by leaving, you’re wrong”.

He shook his head, a pained smile flickering across his face. “(Y/N), this life… it breaks you. It’s broken me. And you—you’re strong and good, and I don’t want to be the thing that takes that from you”.

“You don’t get to decide that for me, Dean”, you whispered, your voice firm even as it trembled. “You don’t get to choose what I’m willing to face, who I’m willing to love. That’s mine, and I’m choosing you. I’ve always chosen you”.

Dean’s shoulders slumped, and for a moment, he looked as though the fight had finally left him, his resolve crumbling under the weight of his own feelings. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, they were filled with a raw vulnerability that he rarely let anyone see.

“Do you know how many times I thought about coming back?”, he whispered, his voice barely audible, as though he were confessing a sin. “Every time I thought maybe, just maybe, I’d be strong enough to keep you safe. That we could have that life. But then I’d see… the things I had to do, the people I couldn’t save, and I’d talk myself out of it. I kept telling myself that letting you go was the only way I could protect you”.

Your eyes glistened, a mixture of frustration and heartbreak surfacing after years of keeping it buried. The words escaped before you could rein them in, soft but edged with a quiet, fierce pain. “Nothing… nothing could feel worse than waiting eight damn years, Dean. Eight years for that one guy who took my heart with him when he left”.

Dean’s gaze dropped, the weight of your words settling over him, his own pain evident in the tight line of his jaw, the way he ran a hand through his hair as if trying to find a way to fix what had broken. He opened his mouth to speak but then closed it, the words clearly failing him. He looked at you as if seeing the hurt he’d caused in a way he hadn’t allowed himself to before, the reality of it hitting him with a force he couldn’t ignore.

Your voice dropped to a whisper, carrying the weight of every year you’d spent trying to move forward yet feeling anchored to a part of your life that hadn’t let you go. “Look where I am, Dean”, you murmured, the words trembling with a quiet vulnerability. “I don’t care about my stupid bookstore, or the dress hanging in my closet that I’ll never wear… every step, every plan, every single moment, I kept wondering… what if Dean was by my side?”.

Your voice gained a quiet, trembling strength, the years of suppressed pain and longing spilling over. “I’m anything but happy, Dean”, you whispered, your voice growing more resolute with each word. “Anything but at peace. Every single day, it feels like I’m just… existing, going through the motions, trying to build a life that doesn’t feel real without you in it”.

Dean’s expression twisted with a mix of frustration and anguish, his jaw tightening as he tried to hold back the emotions surging within him. Finally, he let out a frustrated sigh, his voice sharp, edged with pain. “But you’re alive, dammit. You’re here, safe, in one piece. That’s what I wanted for you, even if it meant…”. His voice cracked, but he pushed on, “even if it meant I had to stay away”.

You flinched slightly at his tone, not from fear, but from the raw truth embedded in his words. He had chosen your safety over his own happiness, a decision that had broken both of you in different ways.

Your voice rose, trembling with the intensity of every feeling you’d held back for so long. “I would trade my damn safety in an instant, Dean”, you whispered, the rawness in your voice making him falter, “if it meant I could be with you. If it meant feeling alive again, actually living instead of just… existing”.

Dean stood up, his expression filled with a mixture of frustration and something darker—something that carried years of wounds, both seen and unseen. Without a word, he lifted his shirt, revealing the bruises and fresh stitches scattered across his torso. But the worst of it was a deep, angry gash just above his heart, the skin around it still raw and healing. You inhaled sharply, a wave of shock and horror settling over you as you took in the reality of what he’d endured.

His voice was barely steady, each word laced with a raw edge. “I was possessed, (Y/N). Literally. There was… someone else in my head, guiding me, forcing me”. His eyes flashed with a bitterness that cut through you, and he gestured to the wound on his chest. “I took this knife—my own damn hand—and I slit my chest open. Tried to rip out my own heart. But it wasn’t me… it was a demon. A demon using me, my own mind, my own hands”.

He paused, the words hanging heavily between you, the rawness of his confession unraveling the walls you’d built to protect yourself from fully understanding what his life entailed. “Is that what you want?”, he continued, his voice breaking. “Because that’s the life you’re asking for right now—a life where every time you turn around, you’re wondering if it’s me, or if it’s something that’s using me to get to you, or to hurt you”.

You looked down, your mind spinning as you tried to process the weight of what he’d just shared. Dean leaned back against the kitchen counter, arms crossed defensively over his bruised chest, his expression hard but filled with a pain that went beyond the physical. There was a rawness in his eyes, a desperate, unspoken need for you to understand, and yet… a hesitance, as if he were daring you to truly see the darkness he lived with.

“Look at me”, he said, his voice low and filled with a bitterness that broke your heart. “And tell me… tell me that loving me is enough to overshadow all of that sick shit”. The words came out with an edge of self-loathing, as if he couldn’t fathom anyone wanting to hold onto someone so scarred, so damaged by things most people could never even comprehend.

The way he spoke—as though even the idea of loving him was something ugly—sent a pang through you. You lifted your gaze, taking in the bruises, the cuts, the haunted look in his eyes, and you felt your own heart ache. He’d endured so much, and he still couldn’t see that none of it made him unworthy. If anything, it made him braver, stronger, someone who bore the weight of the world on his shoulders alone because he didn’t want it to touch the people he cared about.

You took a small, steadying breath, meeting his gaze with an intensity that matched the weight of his words. “Obviously, you don’t know how much I’ve fallen for you if you think any of this would stop me”, you whispered, the words slipping out softly but laced with unwavering conviction.

Dean’s posture stiffened, a flicker of surprise crossing his face as he absorbed your words, his defenses crumbling in a way that left him looking more exposed than ever. For a moment, he was silent, his eyes searching yours as if trying to understand how you could look at him that way, how you could see all of him—the scars, the trauma, the darkness—and still be here.

He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, seemingly at a loss, his shoulders sagging under the weight of everything he’d been holding back. “I just… I don’t get it”, he murmured, his voice raw, almost vulnerable. “Why? Why me, when all I seem to do is break things?”.

Dean’s voice dropped to a murmur, barely more than a whisper. “I’m not worth it, baby. Trust me”, he said, his eyes darkening with an ache that went far beyond the bruises on his body, carrying the weight of everything he’d been through, every person he’d lost. He shook his head slightly, as if trying to push the thought of deserving you away. “All I do is bring people down… get them hurt or worse. You deserve so much better than someone like me”.

Your heart clenched at the self-doubt etched into his face, the look of someone who had spent too long believing he was unworthy of love. You reached up, gently cupping his face, your thumb brushing over his cheek. “Dean, don’t you see? You don’t have to be anything other than who you are. You’ve spent your whole life trying to protect everyone, carrying everyone else’s pain. I know you’ve been through hell and back, and I know you think that makes you damaged somehow. But it doesn’t”.

He looked down, swallowing hard, his expression wavering between hope and disbelief as he leaned into your touch. “But what if… what if all of this, everything I’ve seen, everything I’ve done… it’s too much? What if one day I look at you and I see the hurt I’m so afraid to put you through?”.

You held his gaze, steady and unflinching. “Then we face it together, Dean. Because I’m choosing this. I’m choosing you”.

Your voice trembled as you looked up at him, eyes glistening with tears that held both the ache of the past and the fragile hope for something more. “I spent eight damn years missing you, Dean”, you murmured, the weight of those years evident in every syllable. “Thinking about you, wishing… for nothing but you in my life”.

You took a deep breath, the vulnerability in your words spilling over, raw and unfiltered. “I don’t care about where we go, or what it looks like, or if it’s not what most people would call normal. I just want you. In all those dirty motels, on the road, wherever you go, take me with you, Dean. Please”.

Dean’s face softened, the tension in his shoulders easing as he took in the sincerity in your gaze. His own eyes glistened, caught between disbelief and a kind of cautious hope he hadn’t felt in years. He reached up, brushing his thumb gently over your cheek as if grounding himself in your touch, his hand steady despite the whirlwind of emotions behind his gaze.

“I can’t promise you anything but the life I’ve got… and it’s not pretty”, he whispered, his voice barely audible.

Your breath hitched as you whispered, “I don’t care, Dean”. The words left you in a soft, trembling rush, tears beginning to trace paths down your cheeks. “I can’t let you leave me again, not this time. Not again”.

For a moment, he didn’t say anything, his gaze locked on yours, the intensity in his eyes almost overwhelming. And then, without a word, he pulled you closer, both hands coming up to cradle your face with a tenderness that stole what little breath you had left. His thumbs brushed away the tears as he looked at you, his own eyes shining with a vulnerability he rarely showed. Then, slowly, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss that felt like a promise, a reunion, and an apology all at once.

It was gentle at first, like he was rediscovering something precious, but as the years of longing and missed chances caught up with you both, it deepened, each second erasing the distance that had once stretched between you. His fingers tangled in your hair, pulling you impossibly closer, as if he needed to prove that this moment was real, that you were here, together, in spite of everything.

When you finally pulled apart, your foreheads resting against each other, both of you were breathless.

Dean’s hands slipped from your face, his gaze holding yours for one more beat before he let them drift down to your hips, his fingers gripping you with a renewed urgency. Without another word, he lifted you effortlessly, his arms wrapping around you in a way that felt both possessive and tender, as though he couldn’t bear to let you go even for a moment.

Your arms wound around his neck as he carried you down the hallway, each step steady, his eyes never leaving yours. The weight of everything unsaid, everything lost, and everything found again lingered in the air, creating a feeling both electric and deeply comforting. By the time he reached your bedroom, his breaths were ragged, mirroring your own, a testament to the years of longing you’d both endured in silence.

Gently, he laid you back on the bed, his hands still cradling your hips, and his gaze softened, holding a quiet reverence as he took you in. He leaned down, pressing his lips softly to your forehead, then your cheek, his touch warm and lingering as if he were mapping the parts of you he had missed. The room fell into a calm quiet, filled with the steady rhythm of shared breaths and the comfort of knowing you were finally here, together, without any walls between you.

He kissed you again, deeply, fully, as his hands traced the curve of your waist, his touch saying all the words that had lingered between you.

Only a few minutes later, you found yourself straddling Dean’s lap, your hand resting gently on his shoulder, mindful of the bruises and healing wounds scattered across his body. The heat between you both was undeniable, a palpable warmth building with each passing second, but you hesitated, searching his face, worried that even the smallest movement might hurt him.

Dean, ever himself, noticed the hesitation in your eyes and let out a soft, exasperated chuckle, his hands giving your waist a reassuring squeeze. “C´mon, sweetheart”, he murmured, that familiar teasing glint sparking in his gaze. “You really think a few bruises are gonna keep me down?”. He tilted his head, flashing that trademark smirk that somehow made your heart race and eased your worries at the same time.

“Trust me, I’m not made of glass”, he added, his voice dropping to a low murmur as his thumb traced circles against your hip. “I’ve been through worse, and I’m still here, aren’t I?”.

You felt a smile tug at your lips, your nerves fading under the warmth of his gaze. Dean leaned forward, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered, “Besides, if this is how I go out, I can’t think of a better way”. His voice held that cocky, playful edge that was so quintessentially him, reminding you that beneath the scars and bruises, Dean Winchester was still very much himself—unbreakable, stubborn, and entirely in the moment with you.

With a soft laugh, you leaned in, finally letting go of your hesitation. “Alright, Winchester”, you whispered back, “just don’t say I didn’t warn you”.

Dean’s smirk widened, his eyes sparking with that familiar mischief. “You know, I don’t mind a little pain”, he teased, his voice dropping to a husky whisper as he held you steady, his hands warm and firm on your hips. “Actually… might even say I like it”. His grin grew as he emphasized his words by pushing his hips up gently, nudging himself just barely inside you, a silent reminder of his impatience and his eagerness to close the distance between you.

The small movement sent a spark of heat through you, erasing any remaining hesitation. Dean’s eyes locked onto yours, holding you in his gaze. “You’re making me wait way too long, sweetheart”, he murmured, his hands urging you closer. “What’s a guy gotta do to show he’s ready?”.

Rolling your eyes, you leaned in, meeting his gaze with equal intensity as you let yourself sink down onto him, savoring the feeling of being close in a way that felt both familiar and brand new. Dean’s grip on your hips tightened, his breath hitching as you settled fully, and for a moment, the only sounds were your shared breaths.

“Damn”, he muttered, his hands moving up your back as he pulled you in for a kiss, slow and deep, his usual playfulness softening into something more intense and tender. “Guess that was worth the wait”.

You couldn’t help but shiver, caught off guard by the intensity, the fullness, as if you’d forgotten just how overwhelming being with him could feel. You took a steadying breath, letting the sensation settle over you, before slowly lifting your hips. Dean’s hands moved with you, guiding you with a care that softened every edge of the moment. His gaze was fixed intently on your face, his eyes heavy-lidded, a quiet awe filling them as he took in every little reaction, every flicker of pleasure that crossed your expression.

His jaw tightened, and he bit his lip, clearly trying to rein in the sounds building in his chest. But a low groan slipped through, despite his efforts, his breath hitching as he felt you sink back down. His hands pressed into your hips with just enough pressure to ground you both, a silent testament to his own restraint.

“Fuck, you have no idea”, he murmured, his voice strained, as if the words were pulled from somewhere deep within him. “No one… no one has ever felt this good”. He shifted slightly, his hands guiding you into a rhythm that made your breath catch.

You let out a shaky, breathless laugh, leaning in close enough that your lips brushed his ear as you moved, your voice a teasing murmur. “Is that what you say to all the women you’ve been with these past eight years?”. Your words were light, but there was a hint of something deeper, a vulnerability you tried to hide beneath your playful tone as you sank down onto him again, letting your hips roll in a way that made him groan.

Dean’s eyes darkened, his hands gripping your hips a little tighter, pulling you closer, his own breath coming out in a shudder. He shook his head, a small, breathless chuckle escaping him as he looked up at you, a tender honesty in his gaze. “You really think anyone else could ever feel like this?”, he murmured, his voice low, each word laced with that familiar intensity. “Trust me, no one even came close”.

He lifted his hips to meet yours, his movements growing a little more insistent, as if to prove his words. His gaze stayed locked on yours, a silent promise in his eyes. “It’s just you”, he whispered, his voice rough. “Always was”.

A quiet whine slipped from your lips as you looked down at him, your fingers tracing a path along his shoulder, your voice barely a murmur as you teased, “I don’t believe you”.

Dean’s eyes narrowed playfully, a hint of a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth as he tilted his head, his hands pressing you down against him with a gentle, insistent pressure. “Oh, you don’t, huh?”, he murmured, his voice low, almost daring. “Guess I’ll just have to prove it to you”.

Dean shifted, turning the two of you over despite the clear discomfort it must have caused him. His eyes glinted with that unmistakable spark, the one that told you he wasn’t about to let anything hold him back. You felt him still inside you, steady and unyielding, his warmth grounding you both.

Your gaze drifted down to his chest, taking in the angry, jagged cut just above his heart. The stitches looked haphazard, as though they’d been done in a rush, and the surrounding skin was a mix of deep purples and blues—evidence of just how much he’d been through. Gently, your fingertip traced along the edge of the bruised skin, your touch feather-light, filled with worry and tenderness.

Your voice came out in a quiet murmur, worry lacing your tone. “Dean… it’s infected”, you whispered, your fingers hovering over the wound, the red, inflamed skin and rough stitches telling a story of hurried care and relentless battles. You could feel the concern flooding through you, the urge to make him rest, to tend to his wounds.

But before you could say more, Dean’s hands found your hips, grounding you. His eyes, filled with an unwavering intensity, held yours as if to say he’d handle every ounce of pain if it meant proving just how much you meant to him. Without a word, he shifted, pulling you closer, his own pain evident but ignored as he thrust deeply, a gesture meant to bring you back to the moment, to remind you both why you were here—together.

A breath caught in your throat, a mix of sensation and shared vulnerability bringing you back, anchoring you to him.

Dean's voice was low, rough with both determination and an edge of vulnerability. "I want you here with me, sweetheart", he murmured, his gaze never leaving yours, his hands steady and grounding on your hips. "I’ve waited eight years… so stop worrying about something stupid like me".

His words hung between you, raw and insistent, filled with a depth of feeling he usually kept hidden beneath layers of armor. You could feel his sincerity, the unyielding need that drove him to push past his pain, to have this moment with you, undiluted and real. He wanted to make every second count, to show you that even through all his scars, he was still yours.

You felt the last of your reservations fall away, leaning into his touch, matching the intensity in his eyes with your own. “I’m here, Dean”, you whispered, your voice steady, your hand resting softly over his heart, feeling its strong, unbroken beat.

"Good", he whispered, a soft smile tugging at his lips before he leaned in, brushing a tender kiss across your mouth. His touch trailed down along your jaw, his lips grazing your skin with a gentleness that made your breath catch. All the while, his movements were unhurried, savoring each moment as he thrust slowly, steadily, holding you close as if he wanted to prolong every second of this closeness.

There was an intimacy in his touch, a quiet reverence that spoke volumes without a single word. Each gentle thrust, every brush of his lips along your neck, felt like a vow, a promise made in the quiet spaces between heartbeats. The world seemed to fade, leaving just the two of you—no past regrets, no fears of what was to come, just the warmth of his skin against yours and the shared rhythm you’d fallen into together.

It felt like coming home.

A soft gasp escaped your lips as you instinctively tightened around him, your body responding to his touch, to the feeling of him moving within you. Every inch of him felt achingly familiar, yet new, as though the time and distance had only intensified the way he filled the spaces you’d kept hidden for so long. It was overwhelming, each slow movement stirring up emotions you hadn’t let yourself feel in years, everything raw and unfiltered.

For Dean, every sensation felt like a reunion, a rediscovery of something he’d lost but never truly let go of. The warmth of your skin, the softness of your touch, the quiet gasps you made as you held onto him—each was a reminder of the love he’d left behind, of the emptiness that had lingered in every city, every hunt, every lonely motel room. The pain and sacrifice, the years spent convincing himself you’d be better off without him, all of it melted away in this moment.

Both of you moved in sync, guided not by urgency but by a quiet, reverent understanding of the time you’d lost. His hands held you with a mixture of tenderness and need, each brush of his thumb against your skin, each press of his body against yours, a silent reassurance that he was here, now, and he wasn’t going anywhere. The weight of eight long years, the ache of missing each other, faded into a wordless connection, a love that hadn’t dimmed but had only grown stronger, waiting patiently to be reignited.

In that moment, there was no doubt, no lingering fears—only the overwhelming relief of being together, two hearts finding their way back home.

You spent hours wrapped up in each other, lost in the warmth and connection that had been denied for so long. Every touch, every kiss, every whispered word filled the room with an intimacy that felt like both a reunion and a promise. The night stretched on, and the world outside seemed to fade, leaving just the two of you in a cocoon of shared breaths and murmured affection.

By the time the clock neared three in the morning, you were both spent, your bodies exhausted and drenched in a comfortable sheen of sweat. Dean’s face was flushed, a shade deeper than usual, his breathing heavy as he finally allowed himself to collapse beside you. He let out a quiet sigh, a contented sound, as though just being there, with you, had lifted the weight he’d been carrying for years.

You turned toward him, reaching out to brush a damp strand of hair from his forehead, but as you did, you noticed the warmth radiating from his skin, hotter than usual. A small frown tugged at your lips as you gently touched his cheek, the flush there not entirely from the hours spent together. His eyes flickered open, catching your worried expression.

“Dean… you’re burning up”, you murmured softly, concern etching into your voice.

He gave a lazy, dismissive smile, waving off your worry. “I’m fine”, he mumbled, voice thick with fatigue. “Just… been a long few days, that’s all”. But the weariness in his gaze, the slight edge of fever in his flushed skin, told you there was more to it than he was willing to admit.

You pressed your palm firmly against Dean’s forehead, feeling the heat radiate through your hand—a clear sign that his fever wasn’t just “nothing”. Your gaze traveled down to the wound on his chest, your concern deepening as you took in the angry, red edges of the cut. It was obvious that the stitches were barely holding, and the faint yellow tint around the area spoke to a growing infection. The rough bandage job and few pieces of surgical tape were only making things worse, failing to keep the wound clean or properly closed.

“Dean… this isn’t just a little fever”, you murmured, your voice edged with worry. “This is serious. You need proper stitches, and we need to take care of that infection. You can’t just ignore it and hope it goes away”.

He let out a sigh, his attempt at a reassuring smile faltering under your concern. “I’ve had worse”, he said quietly, but even he seemed to know how thin that excuse sounded as he shifted uncomfortably, the strain on his face evident.

You stood up from the bed, slipping into your satin robe. As you moved toward the bathroom, you could feel Dean’s gaze on you, and even though you knew he was stubborn enough to resist, you weren’t going to let this go. Pulling the first aid kit from the cabinet, you began rifling through its contents, mentally cataloging what you’d need.

“Dean, you really can’t keep brushing this off”, you called over your shoulder, your tone leaving no room for argument.

He shifted uncomfortably, grumbling in that way only he could. “You know, just because you took one semester of medical school doesn’t make you a doctor”, he muttered, his voice holding that familiar mix of sarcasm and exasperation.

You returned to the bed, raising a brow as you met his gaze. “And I’m hoping you’re just this mean because of the fever”, you shot back, unflinching, though your worry softened the edge in your voice. “Otherwise, I might start thinking you don’t appreciate the fact that I’m trying to keep you from ending up with an infection that could put you in the hospital”.

Dean huffed, averting his eyes. “I appreciate it”, he mumbled, begrudgingly. “It’s just… I’m fine. I’ve had worse, really”.

You let out an exasperated sigh, rolling your eyes as you took a closer look at the wound, the jagged edges of the stitches clearly the result of a rushed, one-handed job. You stepped between his legs, hands on your hips as you inspected the inflamed, swollen area, barely able to keep the frustration out of your voice.

“Who the hell stitched this up, anyway?”, you muttered, raising an eyebrow as you glanced at him, fully expecting an explanation.

Dean looked away, a bit of embarrassment flickering over his face before he grumbled, “Did it myself. Sam wasn’t around, and I wasn’t about to go to some clinic just so they could tell me to ‘take it easy’”. He paused, glancing at the bruised mess on his chest, almost as if seeing it through your eyes. “It wasn’t exactly my best work”, he admitted, his voice barely more than a mutter.

Your heart softened despite yourself, knowing how fiercely independent he was, how he hated being vulnerable. You let out a slow breath, the mix of worry and tenderness filling your chest. Gently, you touched the skin around the wound, your fingers brushing softly as you examined it.

"Clearly”, you mumbled, trying to keep the frustration in your voice light as you unscrewed the cap of the antiseptic. You soaked a cotton pad, glancing up at him for a brief moment to give him a wordless warning. Dean was already bracing himself, his hands gripping the bedframe on either side, his jaw tightening as he looked down.

The second the antiseptic touched his skin, he sucked in a sharp breath, his knuckles going white as he held onto the bed. His entire body tensed, his eyes squeezing shut as he muttered a string of curses under his breath. You couldn’t help the tiny smirk that crossed your lips, a part of you secretly pleased that you were getting back at him just a little for the stress he’d put you through.

“Hurts that much, huh?”, you teased, though there was an unmistakable gentleness in your voice. You dabbed carefully, doing your best to be gentle while still cleaning the wound properly.

He let out a strained chuckle, his voice rough. “Feels like hellfire, sweetheart. But don’t let me stop you… ”, he bit out.

You gave him a sympathetic but firm look, your tone softening slightly as you said, “You know I’m going to have to take these stitches out, right? They’re… not doing you any favors. I need to redo them, and it’s going to hurt—probably a lot—especially with this infection”.

Dean’s face twisted in a grimace, his fingers flexing around the bedframe as he let out a resigned sigh. “Perfect. Exactly what I wanted to hear at three in the morning”, he grumbled.

A faint smile tugged at your lips as you looked up at him, trying to lighten the mood. “Well, maybe next time you’ll think twice before going all DIY surgeon on yourself”, you teased, your tone warm but edged with concern.

Dean scoffed, though his grin was tight as he braced himself. “Yeah, because I have so many other options on a hunt”, he muttered, a hint of defiance in his voice.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, fingers gentle as you began to carefully peel back the old, grimy surgical tape. He hissed, the tension evident in the way his hands tightened around the bedframe, his jaw clenching as he tried to mask the pain.

“Don’t be such a baby”, you murmured, attempting to keep your touch as soft as possible. “Big, tough hunter, but a little bit of tape has you groaning like that?”.

He shot you a look, his usual bravado slipping just enough to reveal the discomfort. “Yeah, yeah”, he ground out, wincing again as you finally pulled the last bit of tape free. “You try dealing with it and see if you’re all smiles and rainbows”.

“Maybe I would be”, you replied, giving him a teasing smirk, though your voice softened as you took in the state of his wound. “But seriously, Dean… if I’m not here next time, maybe just skip the home surgery routine?”.

Dean’s expression softened, a flicker of vulnerability crossing his face. “Maybe I’ll just… stick around, then”, he mumbled, almost as if he hadn’t meant to say it aloud. The unexpected confession hung in the air, heavy but laced with something hopeful, and you felt your heart tighten.

“Yeah”, you replied softly, letting the weight of his words settle over you both. “Maybe you should”.

As the last of the tape came off, you took a steadying breath and began the delicate process of undoing the stitches, working carefully to minimize his discomfort. Dean’s breath hitched with each slight tug, his hands gripping the bedframe tightly, but he kept his eyes on you, watching every movement as though grounding himself in your presence.

Every so often, a tiny bead of blood would surface along the wound, and you’d pause to dab it away gently with cotton, the antiseptic stinging just enough to make him wince. His jaw tightened, but he stayed still, holding himself steady through the pain with quiet resilience.

“Almost there”, you murmured softly, your voice soothing. “Just a few more, then I’ll clean it up and redo them”.

Dean gave a slight nod, his eyes never leaving your face. “You make it sound like it’s nothing”, he muttered, a faint smirk tugging at his lips despite the strain. “Forget the one semester—you’re practically a pro at this”.

You chuckled quietly, though your focus didn’t waver. “And here I thought you didn’t think I was qualified”, you teased back, trying to keep his spirits up as you finished removing the last of the stitches.

As you carefully set the first new stitch, Dean’s hands instinctively flew to your thighs, his grip tightening almost reflexively as a pained groan slipped through his clenched teeth. His fingers dug in, steadying himself against the sharp sting, grounding himself through the contact with you. You glanced down at his hands, feeling the warmth of his touch even through the tension of the moment, and you couldn’t help but pause for just a second, your gaze flickering to meet his.

“Hold on, Dean”, you murmured gently, focusing on keeping your movements as smooth and precise as possible. “Just a few more”.

Dean’s eyes closed briefly, his jaw flexing as he drew in a shaky breath, his fingers still gripping your thighs as though he needed the contact to anchor him through the pain. “You’re… doing great”, he managed, voice rough but laced with gratitude, the faintest hint of a smirk breaking through despite his discomfort. “Just… didn’t realize you’d turn torture into a bonding experience”.

You let out a soft laugh, the warmth of it soothing the tense air around you both. “I thought you could handle a little pain, Winchester”, you teased gently, finishing the stitch with as much care as you could manage. He huffed out a laugh, squeezing your thigh once in acknowledgment, his fingers relaxing slightly as he took a deep breath.

“One down, a few more to go”, you whispered, your tone reassuring as you moved to the next stitch. Dean’s hands remained on your thighs, steadying himself, and somehow, amidst the quiet pain and gentle touches, a calm seemed to settle over both of you, an unspoken understanding that this moment—like so many before it—was bringing you closer in a way that went beyond words.

After a few more stitches, the cotton pads in front of you were soaked in his blood, a quiet testament to the care and patience you’d poured into every careful movement. You let out a breath of relief as you finally tied off the last knot, your fingers moving with a practiced gentleness as you made sure everything was secure. Just as you reached for a bandage to cover the wound, you felt a subtle tug at your waist, Dean’s hand slipping beneath the edge of your robe, fingers brushing your skin with a warmth that sent a gentle shiver through you.

You glanced down, meeting his gaze, seeing the flicker of tenderness and gratitude mixed with something else—a quiet, unspoken need that lingered between you both. His hand opened your robe just enough for his fingers to rest against your hip, his touch light, hesitant, as if waiting for your permission.

Dean’s eyes softened, an almost playful smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Guess I owe you one, huh?”, he murmured, his voice low, roughened by the combination of pain and something deeper. He leaned forward slightly, the hint of vulnerability in his gaze grounding you both in the intimacy of the moment. “You patched me up pretty good… now I just need to return the favor”.

Despite everything—the pain, the exhaustion—you felt warmth bloom in your chest, the connection between you two as solid and undeniable as ever.

Dean’s lips trailed ghost-light over your stomach, hovering dangerously close to where every nerve seemed to spark under his touch. His breath was warm against your skin, and you felt the familiar ache of anticipation, even as your voice faltered with concern. “Dean, you need to rest now”, you mumbled, trying to keep your resolve firm as you reached to gather the bloodied cotton and gauze.

But Dean’s hand closed gently over yours, stilling your movements. “Just… stay”, he murmured, his voice low and filled with that undeniable pull that only he could create. He looked up at you, a teasing glint in his eyes tempered by something deeper. “Besides, I think you’re the one who needs to unwind”.

You tried to protest, to insist he should be resting after everything, but his gaze held yours with a quiet determination. Dean’s fingers grazed up your thigh, grounding you in the moment as he leaned in, his lips pressing warm, lingering kisses along your skin.

"Let me take care of you for once", he murmured softly, his voice roughened but sincere.

You let out a soft groan, partly in annoyance at Dean’s stubbornness, but mostly at the way he knew exactly how to coax you into letting go of any protests. Just as you opened your mouth to object, he sank back onto the bed, settling himself comfortably with that signature grin that was equal parts challenge and invitation. He lifted his hand, curling his fingers in a slow, beckoning motion, and grinned wider as he said, “Sit”.

You stared at him, your brow furrowing slightly in confusion. His smirk deepened, eyes glinting with mischief as he saw the uncertainty flicker across your face.

Slowly, you climbed on top of him, instinctively moving to settle over his hips, but Dean’s hands tightened gently around your waist, guiding you higher, closer to his face. His touch was both steady and insistent, and when you finally realized what he wanted, a flush of warmth spread over your cheeks, your heart beginning to race. He looked up at you, his gaze dark and filled with a heat that made your pulse quicken even further.

“Right here, sweetheart”, he murmured, his voice low, filled with a soft, teasing warmth that only heightened the intensity of the moment. His eyes held yours, his expression open and eager, as if he wanted nothing more than to lose himself in the pleasure of you. His hands settled firmly on your thighs, grounding you, reassuring you that he meant every word, that this was exactly where he wanted you.

You hesitated for just a second, your heart pounding, but as his hands guided you forward, you felt every lingering worry slip away. He looked at you with such genuine affection, that familiar, stubborn patience in his gaze, that it was impossible to resist

As the early morning light crept into the room, you found yourself under the warm spray of the shower, the heat easing the fatigue from a night filled with closeness and quiet whispers. Dean joined you, carefully adjusting his stance to avoid getting his wound wet. Despite his best efforts, you could see him wince every so often, his jaw clenched in concentration.

“You’re as stubborn as ever”, you teased, stepping closer to help shield his wound from the water.

Dean took the opportunity to draw you in, his arms wrapping around your waist with a gentle but steady pull. He guided you back just enough so the water wasn’t pouring directly over you both, creating a small, intimate space where the warmth of his body surrounded you.

You felt his lips press softly against your shoulder blade, a lingering kiss that sent a shiver up your spine. His embrace tightened slightly as he leaned into you, his chin resting on your shoulder, his breath warm against your skin. His hand splayed across your waist, anchoring you both in the moment.

"Thanks for looking out for me", he murmured, his voice a low hum that vibrated softly against you. There was a rare vulnerability in his tone, a quiet appreciation that went beyond words.

You leaned back against him, resting your hands over his as you both stood there in comfortable silence, the sound of the water filling the room. His hand slid up, brushing a stray droplet from your collarbone, his fingers lingering as if memorizing every curve and line. For a moment, it was as if time stood still, the world outside fading away as you both found peace in the closeness you shared.

With a soft sigh, he pressed another kiss to your shoulder, his lips lingering as he whispered, "I could get used to mornings like this".

You mumbled, barely above a whisper, “You said that before…right before you left me the second time”. The words slipped out, laced with a hint of sadness. You bit your lip, feeling the weight of the past settle around you both, the times he’d walked away despite the promises that still lingered between you.

Dean’s arms tightened around your waist, his hold becoming firmer, as if he could anchor you to him just by sheer will. His breath stilled for a moment, and you could sense his heart beating a little faster against your back, knowing he felt the truth in your words.

You turned in his embrace, looking up at him, a fierce determination in your eyes. “I swear to you, Dean, if you’re not taking me with you this time…”. You paused, your voice steady, holding his gaze without a hint of hesitation. “I’ll hunt you. I’ll join up with every demon, ghost, and whatever else is out there, and I’ll find you. I’m not losing you again”.

A flicker of something softened in his eyes. He swallowed, his hand coming up to cup your face gently, his thumb brushing your cheek in a silent apology. “I know”, he said, his voice barely a whisper. “And I’m done running, I promise. You’re coming with me…wherever this road goes”.

You felt the tension melt away as he pulled you closer, his forehead resting against yours. In that moment, you knew he meant it—this time, he wasn’t going anywhere without you. The past may have cast its shadows, but standing there with him, you felt the strength of something real, something that wouldn’t break again.

The warm spray of the shower continued to cascade around you, but the world felt perfectly still. Dean’s arms around you, his forehead pressed to yours, were more grounding than anything you’d ever known. For the first time in what felt like forever, the doubts and fears that had haunted you both were quiet, replaced by the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against yours.

His whispered promise lingered in the air between you, fragile but unshakable, like the first light of dawn breaking through the darkness. “Wherever this road goes”, you echoed, the words a vow of your own, a tether tying you both to the promise of staying together.

Dean looked at you then, his gaze filled with an unspoken tenderness that seemed to reach into your very soul. “We’ve got this”, he murmured, his lips brushing yours in a kiss that was as much reassurance as it was devotion.

You knew deep down that, no matter the battles or storms to come, you’d face them side by side. Together, you had finally found your way home.

-The End-

———————————

A/N: I LOVED writing this one. I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think.🥰

Taglist: @blackcherrywhiskey @baby19sthings @suckitands33 @spnfamily-j2 @lyarr24 @deans-baby-momma @reignsboy19 @kawaii-arfid-memes @mekkencspony @lovziy @artemys-ackles @fitxgrld @libby99hb @lovelyvirtualperson @a-lil-pr1ncess @nancymcl @the-last-ry @spndeanwinchesterlvr @hobby27 @themarebarroww @kr804573 @impala67rollingthroughtown @deans-queen @deadlymistletoe @selfdestructionandrhum @utyblyn @winchesterwild78 @jackles010378 @chirazsstuff @foxyjwls007 @smoothdogsgirl @woooonau @whimsyfinny @freyabear @laaadygisbooornex3 @quietgirll75 @perpetualabsurdity @pughsexual @berryblues46 @deanwinchestersgirl8734 @kr804573 @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing @globetrotter28 @ladykitana90

#jensen ackles #dean and sam #deanwinchester #dean x y/n #dean x you #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fic #deanwinchtser #dean winchester #dean winchester x y/n

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murkycran · 9 months ago

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Radiostatic/Voxal Fic Rec List

Welcome to my Radiostatic/Voxal Fic Rec List! ^_^ This will include romantic, platonic, and/or queerplatonic Radiostatic fics (and admittedly probably a couple of Radiosilence fics, too).

I will keep updating this periodically as I read more fics, so feel free to check back every once and a while! I'll reblog it when I update it, plus make a note with the date at the top. Trust me, this is by no means a complete list; there's fics I still want to add to this that I just haven't gotten to yet. I just decided to go ahead and post it anyways, because if I kept waiting until I ran out of fics to rec I'd probably be working on this forever.

These are not in any particular order; I'm going by both my Bookmarks list on AO3 and my memory of fics I forgot to bookmark. I also tried to make notes on what fics were written before season 1 released, but I might have missed some, so keep that in mind.

Please let me know if any links don't work or are wrong!

✨Before you proceed:✨ read the tags on these fics if you decide to read them. Many of them have heavy material - no surprise given the fandom, but still, felt like this needed said. On that note, there's also fics with explicit material and some fics are straight up PWP. Again, read at your own risk/heed the tags.

Fic Rec List Masterpost

Staticmoth Fic Rec List

Misc. Vox Fic Rec List

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Radio Healed the Video Star by Aspiring_Forest_Witch

Summary: Alastor comes across an unconscious and battered Vox while out on one of his strolls. He feels compelled to bring him back to the hotel.

Notes: 98% of this fic was written before season 1 was released, so keep that in mind, because there's obviously going to be inconsistencies with canon. It's nearly finished (at least according to the author's notes in the latest chapters, I think). I suggest pacing yourself with this one - it's nearly 700k words long. I ruined a good sleep schedule staying up to get through it. (So worth it though.) There are quite a few OCs in later chapters, but they're such good OCs. You fall in love with them just as much as the canon characters, I swear. I would die for Verity and the Trio.

Let's Misbehave by joosymango

Summary: Alastor wins a bet against Vox, now his rival must stop pestering him for two weeks. It should be a pleasant break! So why does he miss the idiot?

Notes: Vaguely inspired by Aspiring_Forest_Witch's Radio Healed the Video Star. Also largely written before season 1 release. First fic I read for the HH fandom. ^_^

Safe with Me Series by rillo (rillyrillo)

Summary: Having only ever set his sights on men who treat women with odious disrespect, Alastor never thought he'd take interest in Vox's turbulent relationship with his fiancé and business partner, Valentino. He decides to lend a helping hand in the hopes of getting Vox out of his sticky situation. After all, what are childhood enemies for?

Unfortunately, neither Alastor nor Vox could've predicted the rollercoaster of unsaid emotions and future horrors that are thrown their way. Will they be able to rely on each other and get by unscathed? Or will destiny have other plans for these two?

[HUMAN AU] [There's art included for the human designs]

Notes: It's so, so good. ;-; Heed the tags. There's a prequel consisting of oneshots, plus a sequel (listed below, bc I can't not put it here)! And there's ART! So much art!

You, My Everything by rillo (rillyrillo)

Summary: Some say that love can conquer all, even in Hell.

Vox begged to differ, and he was damn well sure Alastor did too – or at least he would be, if Alastor hadn’t become one big question mark.

Sequel to Safe with Me.

Notes: Only read if you've read Safe With Me!!! Still pretty early in the story but so good. ;-; The angst, I swear...

You're on the Air by rillo (rillyrillo)

Summary: A series of short, daily conversations between a radio host and his avid listener, as the two learn more about each other’s lives over the air. Set in the late 90s/early 2000s.

Notes: Same author as Safe with Me, but not set in the same universe! This one is set up in a literal radio show format; almost entirely dialogue-centric.

Of Candied Pine and Cherried Smoke by rillo (rillyrillo)

Summary: Inspired by x_Arcticfox_x’s fanfiction: Blue Raspberries And Cherry Cola

After overdosing on them one too many times to curb the steadily weakening suppressants, Vox's body rejects them outright. Now with his scent getting stronger, he finds himself struggling to hide his true status as an Omega. In his desperation, he seeks help from the one person that knows his secret: Alastor.

Notes: Omegaverse. Same author as Safe with Me series and You're on the Air!

Blue Raspberries And Cherry Cola by x_Arcticfox_x

Summary: Vox is an omega, that's his biggest secret.

During his life time he hid this fact using suppressants, and counited to in death. One day he runs out of pills and his supplier is out of stock for the time being so Vox is forced to submit to the torture of going through heat for the first time in decades.

Too bad his business partner only see's omega's as mere object's...

But hey, at least Angel found him just in time, right?

Notes: Omegaverse. Currently on hold, but has 14 chapters currently available for reading. :)

Once Bitten, Twice Shy by The_Penny_Tails

Summary: Alastor decides that it's time to claim what is rightfully his, consequences be damned.

Notes: It's not porn but it might as well have been for how fucking intense this scene was. 😳

Dripping Pink by The_Penny_Tails

Summary: Just before an Overlord meeting, Alastor gets infected by an off-market, highly potent, and incredibly dangerous love potion. Nobody realises until it's too late.

Notes: Simultaneously funny as fuck and erotic as all hell. I suffered from so much secondhand embarrassment on Vox's behalf. It's wonderful. :D

Lucidity's Fog by The_Penny_Tails

Summary: Ever since he met Alastor, Vox has been having raunchy dreams about the deer. Those dreams suddenly stop when Alastor disappears. For seven years, he's free of the guilt, of the shame brought on by his unconscious desire.

Until Alastor comes back, and Vox is plagued by a new dream the same day he finds out about the news. This time, however, something is distinctively different about how the deer is acting.

Notes: Author tagged for light angst, but ngl the ending did not feel like 'light' angst to me lol. Hurt in a good way.

Finger Tips and Dotted Lips by The_Penny_Tails

Summary: Alastor has sensitive hands; he finds this out at the most inconvenient time possible. Unfortunately, Vox is the one who ends up paying the price for it.

Having to help a seemingly broken Overlord whilst navigating this new discovery proves to be a little more taxing than the Radio Demon could ever have imagined.

Notes: Alastor is such a troll in this omg.

Thawing Out by Seaside_Dreaming

Summary: Seeing a small crack in Vox's screen nags at Alastor more than he likes to admit.

Vox wishes things were better. Sooner or later, Alastor has to come to terms with the fact he has feelings, in general.

Notes: Written before season 1 release. HIGHLY suggest reading the prequel one-shot. It's not necessary to understand the plot here, but you should read it anyway.

Static by passthevoxcord

Summary: Vox creates a new and improved version of himself to please Val, only to be replaced by it. He is left beaten and broken with no one to turn to . . . except maybe his oldest enemy, Alastor.

Notes: Written before season 1 release.

Hating you feels so good by TwoBitJester

Summary: Vox obsesses over his returned enemy and finds himself a little too wound up

Notes: Very good PWP.

Laced Over Dinner by hazbinhearts

Summary: Vox is persuaded to dress a little differently over dinner for Alastor, but finds it remarkably uncomfortable as the night goes on. Written for VoxWeek21 Day 3: dressing up [appearance, formal, dance].

Notes: Written before season 1 release. Corsets. 😳

Observer by DeviousPossum

Summary: He moved the cursor to click off, when he suddenly heard a very recognizable static laced tone.

Alastor.

What the fuck. Alastor is singing.

Vox unintentionally ran claw marks across his desk, an increasingly common habit for him as of late. He grimaced at his now ruined table and unsuccessfully tried to reel in an inexplicable feeling that could only be described as jealousy.

Notes: Porn with a tiny bit of plot in the first chapter. :3

RadioTV Week 2021 Series by Heliosolar

Summary: Pretty much the title; various prompts.

Notes: Written before season 1 release. All worth reading, though they aren't connected.

Sharkblocking by Anonymous

Summary: Alastor is Vox’s number one rival. Incidentally, though nobody involved is aware of it, Alastor’s number one rival is actually Vox’s pet shark.

In which Alastor is actually a little obsessed back and Vark is the biggest obstacle to Radiostatic short of canon itself.

Notes: VARK!

Control + V by TooManyPsuedonyms

Summary: Vox and Alastor have a... thing. Not quite a relationship, but something. Vox is too scared to define it properly, and Alastor is dead set that Vox will eventually get bored of his lack of reciprocity and move on.

So, Valentino tries to show Vox what he is missing.

... too bad Vox didn't want him like that. ... too bad Alastor didn't know want is a vague word.

Notes: Heed the tags!!! There's currently a sequel; I haven't read it yet, but I definitely plan to. 👀

gift of the magi by vol_ctrl

Summary: "... Although husband and wife are now left with gifts that neither one can use, they realize how far they are willing to go to show their love for each other, and how priceless their love really is ..."

Alastor/Vox established relationship fluff.

Notes: Written before season 1 release. Very sweet. ^_^

the lost tape by vol_ctrl

Summary: There's a NEW ambitious media demon in Pentagram City. You never get a second chance to make a first impression, right?

Notes: Written before season 1 release.

12 Days of Yuletide by vol_ctrl

Summary: A parody of the 12 Days of Christmas traditional tune, as can only be done by Vox gifting to his beloved adversary.

Or, a series of letters from the desk of Alastor upon receiving a series of increasingly elaborate gifts from his insufferably modern foil during the holiday season.

Notes: Written before season 1 release.

Fear makes the heart grow fonder by Graysongirl

Summary: After a bit of inspiration from an unlikely source Vox comes up with the plan that scaring Alastor is the best route to gaining his affections. The haunted house at LuLu World seems like the perfect (safe) environment for a bit of pre-planned scaring...

[Stand-alone staticradio]

Notes: Written before season 1 release. Funny af. "Red! Red!" XD

Cordyceps, King of Ants by spappest

Summary: Vox is tired. Of Valentino. Of Velvette. Of Alastor, and Hell, and everything in between. He can't escape, but he can cut himself off, piece by piece, until he feels nothing at all. Alastor takes exception to this approach and commissions a certain princess of Hell to fix his foe. Now Vox has a hotel of misfits on one side of him, overlords on the other, and Alastor crushing his cage ever smaller.

Clearly, the only way Vox will get any peace and quiet is to just kill God.

Valentino did always tell him that he had no chill.

Notes: Started before season 1 was released. Technically features Staticmoth but it's not the focus as much as Radiostatic (which honestly has a relationship status of ??? not romantic but also not friendship or even strictly enemies...just...Alastor and Vox). O_O I think about this fic on a daily basis.

Russian Roulette by spappest

Summary: Vox and Alastor play a game that Vox is way too excited to lose.

Notes: Started before season 1 release. Take note!!! I'm putting this on the Radiostatic list because it's almost entirely centered on Alastor and Vox's dynamic, but the romantic relationship is Staticmoth. The Staticmoth is just not featured very much.

Vox and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Afterlife by spappest

Summary: Alastor goes into rut.

Vox has a bad time. Then a good time. Then a very bad time. Then a brief vacation. Then a confusing time.

Notes: Background Staticmoth, but Radiostatic is most prominent. Funny af. Alastor and Vox have...a very special relationship. Lol.

Killer Ex by FanGirl48

Summary: Alastor was a serial killer who valued his privacy. So when someone who claims to know what he is tries to barge into his life he can't let them live, his secret must be protected at all cost.

A normally easy task easy task becomes complicated when Alastor's ex-boyfriend is dragged into the whole thing forcing the serial killer to go visit them for the first time in seven years.

Notes: Human AU. Love me some possessive Alastor. <3

Negotiations by FanGirl48

Summary: Vox had no interest in attending a meeting between Heaven and Hell following the failed attack by the Adam and his Exterminators. Alastor's little gremlin caused the mess, so he can go clean it up. Vox had nothing wanted nothing to do with the radio demon, king of hell or heaven.

But that was before Lucifer made the media overlord aware of Valentino's little job offer to his daughter.

Damnit Valentino!

Notes: "And they were roommates!" "Oh my god they were roommates"

Down, Up, and Back Down by CowboyEnthusiast

Summary: Vox dies. Surprisingly no one takes this well.

Or, Vox dies and Alastor tries to drag his soul back from Purgatory.

Notes: Another fic I think about daily... Heavy themes. Heed the tags.

Hold Me Like a Grudge by Rachello344

Summary: Alastor has spent a long time running from Vox. Vox has chased after him almost as long. When suppressants fail throughout the city, they finally collide.

Notes: Omegaverse. Fun fact about this author: all their Radiostatic fic titles are from Fall Out Boy lyrics lol. (I fucking love FOB sue me.) I haven't yet read all of Rachello344's Radiostatic fics, BUT I have them all on my To Read list because I've loved everything I've read of theirs so far lol.

What Makes You So Special? by Rachello344

Summary: With Lucifer’s return to the Pride Ring, the other Deadly Sins were bound to take notice. When Asmodeus stops by the Pride Ring to visit the Morningstars, the Vees are able to make a deal to host a pop-up shop of the incredibly popular Lust Ring establishment, Ozzie’s, bringing it to the Pride Ring for the first time.

When Vox and Alastor both attend the restaurant’s opening night, long repressed sparks fly, forever changing their relationship.

Notes: Because of the pacing of this (sex first romance later), I feel like this is the Radiostatic equivalent of Femalefonzie's Freak-A-Zoid (a really good Staticmoth fic). This is hands down one of the most romantic Radiostatic fics I've read. ^_^

Hold Me Tight (or Don't) by Rachello344

Summary: Alastor and Vox finally come to an understanding, both of each other and of what they each mean to the other. Their relationship evolves accordingly, one concession at a time, until they both get everything they could possibly want: power, companionship, and even love.

Notes: So, so good.

Keep You Like an Oath by Rachello344

Summary: Alastor normally wouldn’t bother with the chore—breaking into V Tower was quite a lot of work, even for him—but he found himself curious about what Vox and his little friends might be working on. Especially since whatever it was had Angel concerned enough to report back to the rest of the hotel about it.

Of course, before he can learn anything, he’ll need to sneak past Vox’s watchful eye…

Notes: God it's just...so good. Read it. Radiostatic reconciliation. One thing I love about Rachello344 writing Radiostatic is Alastor's terms of endearment for Vox. ^_^

To Be Yours by pinegreenapples

Summary: Alastor hears something he hasn't heard in years. He decides to investigate why now, of all times, this frequency has turned back on. Vox is not amused.

Notes: Hurt no comfort. Hurts so good, though. ;-;

oleanders in june by spoondrifts

Summary: It seems like while Alastor was off preying on the self-destructive addictions of desperate sinners, Vox was off getting himself beaten half to death, probably from spouting belligerent nonsense at someone with violent tendencies and a far lower threshold for disrespect than Alastor. Not everyone finds poor Vox’s chatter as charming as he does.

If Vox is unconscious, then Vox is not being entertaining, and Alastor came here to have fun, not play nursemaid.

Or: Drunk on power and itching to cause some mayhem, Alastor hunts down the only person in the city who's always up for anything. Unfortunately, he finds Vox... not exactly in tip-top shape. No matter; he can work with that too.

Notes: ^_^ Very sweet.

equilibrium by curtailed

Summary: Post-Finale. The Hotel finds Alastor right on the front lawn, unconscious and bleeding, still injured from Adam's blade. While he recovers, all of Hell scrambles to find out who his mysterious rescuer is.

Meanwhile, Vox tries not to freak out that he might have accidentally made a soul bond to save that deer asshole's life. All he had wanted to do was to scope out the ruins of Alastor's radio tower. Fuck him for being curious, he supposed.

Notes: This fic has me in a CHOKEHOLD. I love the characterizations so, so much. Manages to fit in humor alongside the angst. One of the best fight scenes I've ever seen put into words. Curtailed really took Vox and Alastor as characters and planned out a cool fucking fight scene using their unique abilities. I automatically love anything tagged with "one fell first but the other fell harder" lol.

candlelight by curtailed

Summary: Despite the #SirRepentious success, Heaven remains skeptical of a sinner's ability to change. Logic gets lost somewhere, and really, what's a better way to show sinners can be marginally less horrible than to stick two Overlords who hate each other in the same living space?

Alastor and Vox play house.

Notes: The comedy of Alastor and Vox being forced to be civil with each other and then unintentionally becoming very domestic together. Lol

wallow by curtailed

Summary: A 2+1 fic. Two times when Alastor and Vox were in a love triangle (hard quote on love, hard quote on triangle), and the one time Alastor had Vox to himself.

Notes: Only 1 (very good) chapter so far, but safe to say pretty heavy already. Heed the tags.

Addicted by Dancingdog

Summary: After the latest argument with Valentino, Vox finds himself at the Hazbin Hotel. An injured Alastor is less-than-pleased to see him, which is understandable considering they are enemies.

But as more and more of Valentino's venom leaves his system, Vox begins to remember his days before V-Tower and he learns exactly why Alastor rejected his offer all those decades ago.

His memories return in fits and spurts - not all of them good. His past with Alastor isn't something he expected and it turns out that he isn't the only one suffering.

Notes: Dude. This fic hurt me. Such good angst.

Radio Made the Video Star Series by songofhell

Summary: Snippets of Vox and Alastor's afterlife, and their journey from strangers to friends to enemies to... something more.

Notes: Pretty much what the series summary says - a series of installments that chronicle the beginning and subsequent evolution of Alastor and Vox's relationship. Very good, has tons of possessive!Alastor, which I die for.

Uneasy by Saezs

Summary: “Something’s wrong with Voxy.”

Velvette’s eyes snapped to the tall moth pimp. “And?” she prompted with a raised eyebrow. As if she needed to deal with two piss babies this close to a show. Valentino shrugged, tapping away on his phone, and walked away to stand threateningly close to her new models. Before she could snap at him, she saw it; his wings were twitching. Barely noticeable to strangers, just under the hum of the building’s lights, he was squeaking with each tap of his fingers. She felt unease and a healthy dose of aggravation swirl in her stomach.

Or: Vox was roofied and sexually assaulted. Velvette tries to be better than her mother. Unexpected connections are formed.

Notes: Heed the tags! Features genderfluid Vox. :)

Five Times Vox and Alastor Danced and One Time They Didn't by Drowsy_Salamander

Summary: “I say, good fellow, what are you doing on the ground like that?”

The voice was perky, cheerful, and bright. It had a crisp mid-Atlantic accent, the kind Vox remembered being all the rage for stage and film performers back when he first entered the broadcast industry. The diction was crystal clear with every sound enunciated separately to maximise clarity, the consonants clicked and the vowels were broad. It was a performer’s voice.

A voice for radio.

Oh shit.

... Five times Vox and Alastor danced and one time Vox and Alastor didn't.

From their first meeting through their friendship, to their enmity and fighting. From infatuation to yearning to animosity. Dancing is a partnership, is it not?

Notes: Each chapter so far has been a different type of dance, which is really neat. Especially chapter 2. ^_^ That said, there's a feeling of impending doom, knowing what happens to their relationship eventually... Not saying that as a deterrent but just a comment on how I felt while reading it lol. It's very sweet, which is why it hurts to think of future chapters. 🙃

Days Long Past by Momo52

Summary: All sinners of hell bore some physical marks of how they lived and died. Some physical manifestations were more obvious while others were subtle. Vox was not an exception to this rule.

While his television head was an obvious indication of his life while on Earth, the mark he bore from his death was far more subdued. Luckily enough, his shame was easily concealed behind a high collar. Unfortunately, he is just as well known in his afterlife as he was in his life. As such, trying to make everyone believe that he is so much stronger than what his death implies is a constant battle. He only wished that he wasn’t the hardest one to convince.

Notes: I think platonic Radiostatic is the endgame here. Still pretty early in the story, but I'm really liking this author's depiction of Vox and Alastor's pasts. Heed the tags. There are heavy subjects such as suicide (very big theme for Vox's pov) and period-typical racism (in Alastor's past) present in the story.

Remote Access by x-UsoTsuki-x (its_not_reael)

Summary: In the aftermath of Alastor and Vox's electrifying on-air showdown, Vox finds himself unusually rattled. His usual suave demeanor is slipping, much to his cohorts' amusement – and concern. Velvet can do little more than roll her eyes at his antics. Valentino, on the other hand, is convinced that all Vox needs to do is get fucked and relax.

or, alternatively...

The tech-savvy overlord manages to snag a virus from a porn site and finds himself in the arms of his worst enemy.

Notes: Fairly certain this is firmly Radiosilence based on the tags (and the direction of the story so far). Very funny, very hot. Vox is pathetic in this one. Lol

Nun-thing Like You've Ever Seen Series by A_Cypress_Coffin

Summary: Alastor, the feared radio demon with more blood on his hands than most of hell combined, wasn't always as we imagine him. There was a time where instead of a dapper suit and smile he donned a simple vow and habit. That didn't last of course, but the journey is quite something.

Notes: This author has a great sense of humor, lmao. I enjoyed the unique headcanons for Alastor's backstory. The tag that hooked me: "Accidentally becoming a better person through bad domming and found family".

Empathia by The_Oblivious_Swallow

Summary: Creating new technology is boring, sex is physically unappealing, the other Vee’s are so annoying, annoying, annoying! Even Vark, his baby, his pride and joy, doesn’t stir the same joy in his heart like he should.

So, Vox had concluded that it had to go. For his sake.

Notes: Contains Staticmoth, but Radiostatic seems like the endgame (I write this as there is one chapter still left). Really interesting idea. I love Vox.exe so much. ;-;

Every Madman Has His Vice by phantasm_png (chibellero)

Summary: “What the fuck do you want, Alastor? Was it not enough to kill me all those years ago? Now, you had to go for the people I loved and the only things I had left in this fucking Hellhole?”

“It was my fault,” Alastor whispers as he approaches Vox slowly, as if he was some sort of wounded animal he didn’t want to scare off. His prey. “Vox, I’m sorry. If I had a chance to redo that night, I would never have hurt you to this extent. I’ll never harm you again.”

“That’s seven years too fucking late, Alastor.”

OR: Seven years ago, instead of Alastor disappearing, it was Vox who left instead.

Notes: I’m so fucking here for this AU. Possessive Alastor, Vox helping with the hotel, Husk is still an Overlord, yessss

Metathesiophobia (Fear of Change) by phantasm_png (chibellero)

Summary: There's a lot that can change in seven years.

But never once had Alastor expected for something like this from his old rival and older friend.

Or, Alastor and Vox start to rekindle their old friendship again after a shocking discovery strikes the deer demon.

Notes: QPR Radiostatic with MtF Vox! Contains a smidge of Staticmoth, but it's in the background and not the focus. Very well written.

surimi and venison by phantasm_png (chibellero)

Summary: A series of short drabbles (500+ words) in an interconnected universe (peep the tags, they're still in hell), centering around Alastor and his new pet fish... shark... television thing. Will (hopefully) update 1-2 times a week. Written as my attempt at a Mermay series.

Notes: Like the summary says, Mermay prompts featuring SharkHybrid!Vox, along with Alastor, who literally saw Vox and decided to make him his pet. Lol.

an arm and a leg, my dear, les yeux d'la tête by phantasm_png (chibellero)

Summary: “I mean, usually when Val gets mad he gets like, super pissy too an’ starts destroyin’ shit ‘round the set and in his clubs, but like, usually Vox can calm him down. Problem is, where the Hell is that guy? I haven’t seen ‘im round the Tower for like, a month or two now. That ain’t normal.”

“What, so you mean he just up and left?”

“No, but like… he hasn’t been seen ‘in public’ for like, two months now. It’s startin’ to get suspicious. Like, I ‘unno if I’m just paranoid or something, but… Vox is like, the fuckin’ face of Hell’s Entertainment District. When he’s not round for a bit, that’s nothing to worry about on its own… but when he’s not round for a bit an’ Val and Velvette are creeping around, looking for his rival…? I mean… the dots are connecting. If Al did something…”

“If Vox was dead, we would know.” OR: Two months ago, Vox went missing. Right now, it seems as if Alastor has something to hide.

Notes: Vox gets attic-wifed and wears a virgin killer sweater. ^_^

we'll go down together in the ashes of our love by phantasm_png (chibellero)

Summary: Glimpses into the Radio Demon's life as he reluctantly navigates parenthood with his co-parenting partner and the demon princess hoisted onto him by the King and Queen of Hell.

Loosely inspired by Spy X Family.

Notes: CUTE! I love domestic Radiostatic.

What Has Been by Tianren

Summary: Vox has never known peace. From being the son of a egocentric cult leader, to being the boyfriend of a self absorbed abuser. Vox has managed to build a pretty sad life for himself. The only spot of sunshine that had ever blessed his existence was when he met an amateur true crime investigative journalist, with a podcast named, Alastor. The man was his only source of unfiltered news and contact to the world outside his father’s compound. But after Vox finally escaped the cult he waited for Alastor. Waited weeks in their assigned meeting spot just to be forgotten. Vox was convinced he’d stopped waiting for Alastor years ago until he meets the man again seven years later at a hotel. What will reconnecting with his past lead to and will it help him escape the hell he’s built for himself?

Takes place in the late 2000s early 2010s

Trigger warning for religious trauma and abuse as major themes of this story. Will add more warnings if they arise as I go on.

Notes: Really interesting human AU concept!

(Fic rec list to be continued)

#hazbin hotel #radiostatic #voxal #hazbin alastor #hazbin vox #fic rec list

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lvlyghost · 2 years ago

Note

Hi I just read your “The Things I Never Said” oneshot and loved it. Can I get a kind of opposite version where Simon wishes to be a dad but the reader never wants to be a mom so she freaks out and gets an abortion with out Simons knowledge and later he somehow finds out? Maybe angst to fluff? Totally ignore this if you dont want to, have a wonderful day/night.

The Things I Wish I Said

Pairings: Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

Summary: You decide to end things with Simon after what you did.

Word Count: 1.7k

Tw: hurt, comfort, angry simon, angst, implied abortion. Not proofread.Think that's it but lmk if i missed anything!🐸

A/N: here it is! I hope this doesn't disappoint and that it lives up to your expectations 😰🤞🏻 I really enjoyed writing this one and since it's similar to my previous fic decided to name it quite similar. ✨💞

Masterlist✨Masterpost

He doesn't know. You stare at Simon's gargantuan body as he barks orders to the new recruits. Things have been rather... tense lately. And it's all because of you.

Yesterday had taken a toll on you. A big piece of your heart and soul lost forever in that godamn clinic. You can still smell the perfume of the nurse, feel the hands of the doctor as he tried to comfort you. You're deadly pale, tired and numb. That's why you're sitting on the other side of the field, watching the rest of your team training as usual. Nothing changes for them. You on the other hand? Can't even look at Simon in the eyes. Not anymore. The one thing he wanted the most was also the one you were the most reluctant to. It just wasn't you.

You didn't have it in your DNA. To be a mother. To carry a baby in your arms. And not because you're selfish, but you had decided a long time ago that having children was off the table.

Even when everybody would say 'you'll change your mind when you find the one'. Well it was a blatant lie because you found him. You loved Simon. You'd do whatever he asked of you. Just not this. And you hate yourself for it.

You lied to him and didn't mention anything. Didn't tell him you were pregnant with his offspring.

Couldn't even bare to maintain a conversation with him. And he's starting to notice the way your body startles when he reaches out to you. How you avoid his gaze or not kiss him anymore.

"Feeling better?" He questions, strong arms crossed. Simon doesn't fully look down where you sit but side eyes you. He awaits. You're looking out to the field, ignoring his presence as you swallow the lump in your throat.

"Not really, Lieutenant." You simply add, in a hushed tone.

He sighs but doesn't move, starting to lose his patience. He's trying so hard to understand why you're acting like this. He's preoccupied. Anxious. Yet doesn't let it show, remaining stoic as ever.

"Wanna talk about it, Sergeant?" Biting down on your lip and fidgeting with your hands you shake your head. Simon rubs his face, annoyed that whatever the fuck is happening is driving the both of you apart, so he sits down on the bench next to you. "What is it?" He turns his head to you. Arms resting on his knees.

"Simon..." you warn him with a sad tone.

"No. That's an order."

"Sir, we're done here..." One of the recruits shouts from the other side.

"You bloody keep going until I tell you to stop!" He seethes, making you flinch.

Resting your head on your hands, start thinking about the inevitable. About what you're going to do. Your heartbeat racing when you feel his eyes on you again.

"Simon..." you say. "I... I- don't think we should be together right now." It hurts deep inside because all that's left is the rustling of wind and the voices of the soldiers around. You don't turn to see his reaction, probably wouldn't be able to stand it. It's not because you didn't love him. In fact, you loved him more than he could imagine. It's what you did behind his back what's eating you alive. And the best way you can seem to cope with it is to leave him.

Not a sound comes from him for the next few seconds. Until you finally find the courage to look his way. Blue eyes scan your body.

"As you wish, kid." He whispers. You can't see it but he's already spiraling down to a dark place.

The one good thing he had...

"I've had enough!" Soap's voice booms in the hallway and then your door bursts open. You shriek, standing up from the bed. "I can't stand it anymore lass. You've gotta talk to him." He says.

"Johnny... we've talked about this." You murmur.

"No. I'm being serious! Ghost is more irritated than usual, he almost punched me for saying he needed to get laid. The bloody hell happened to you both?" His eyebrows furrow. "You need to figure this out, otherwise..."

"It's complicated." You deadpan.

"Well then bloody make it right! Steaming fucking Jesus you two acting like fucking children. Grow the hell up."

You had never seen Johnny this mad.

Of course you were aware of Ghost's attitude since you two broke up. And it's only been three weeks. You've been attending the military counselor since then, it's a sorrowful feeling when you think about Simon, while you talk about him. About what led to the end of your relationship or whatever it was that you two had going on.

"I believe what you went through was hard and painful. But I do think that he deserves an answer." she had insisted. "He needs to know."

It was easier said than done. Every time you thought about going to his room or wherever he'd be you got this uneasy feeling, like he somehow despised you now. That all the soft smiles and gentle caressing that were once just for you had turned into frowns and harsh commands. Dismissing you whenever you showed up to training. Not even making eye contact during debriefs. Walking right past you in the corridor. You can't help but wonder if the baby's eyes would've been more like him or yours.

Stop.

The counselor said it was a type of ptsd and that therapy would help you get through it.

"The first step is to let yourself feel that pain, make amends with it, and then go see him."

"I'll try to talk to him Johnny. I promise." You murmur, jaw clenching.

The mere thought of going to speak to Simon made your hands sweat and your heart beat frantically.

Three days after the conversation with Soap, you stand in front of Simon's bedroom door. Blinking rapidly as your mind races with all the things you ought to say. It's almost one in the morning, unable to sleep you decided the conversation couldn't wait any longer. You couldn't wait anymore. Swallowing down saliva you raise your hand, two soft knocks on the door echoing in the empty hallway and you wait patiently, fumbling with your hands as the anxiety begins to raise.

Simon doesn't open so you knock again two times only to be greeted by more silence and a loud thunder outside in the sky.

A quiet huff leaves your mouth as you turn on your heel and leave. Wandering around the compound with no clear direction. It's dead silent, you're left with your own self destructive thoughts as you walk past the gym. A low thud can be heard from behind the doors so you backtrack and take a glimpse through the window.

Why is he at the gym at this ungodly hour?

Pushing past the door you walk sluggishly, Simon's quick to notice the disturbance, ready to snap at whomever is here to interrupt his midnight routine. It's been like this for weeks now; not being able to sleep. The nightmares that had disappeared for the most part came back with full force.

There's a hollow feeling inside of him ever since you decided to call it quits. He doesn't fucking understand, he's mad. Furious even. Can't help the anger whenever he wakes up and you're not there anymore. Can't bear the sight of you during debriefings and not even looking his way. The way you freeze when he has to order you around.

Had he done anything to make you fearful of him?

He needed to know, he needs answers. He'd ask tomorrow. He swears. Whatever it was. Then he'll walk away.

He stands from where he was about to start the second round of push-ups. Simon's able to recognize your silhouette with the lights off, he just knows you that well. Wherever you were, in a sea full of people he'd know it's you even then.

"Sorry..." you murmur. Simon's looking at you over his left shoulder through the mirror in front of him, you stand a few steps behind him. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

He stays silent. It's now that you come to realize that he isn't wearing the mask, instead lies on the room floor, discarded. "Was looking for you in your room but-"

"Say it." He barks, turning around and stalking towards you. His presence alone making you feel smaller. His brows are knitted, jaw clenched so hard you're sure he'll break his teeth. Simon is massive. Yet, despite all of this you know he'd never lay a finger on you, nor hurt you. "Fucking start talking, kid." The hurt in his voice is palpable. You fumble with your hands, it's getting harder to keep your eyes on his. You do not deserve his love at all. "Because I've been losing my mind ever since you shut me out."

A soft wail escapes your lips, you try to muffle it. Simon hesitates for a second. Wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms, he awaits.

"I... I- got pregnant." You cried. "And you've always known I never wanted that. I panicked and didn't say a word because it would be more painful or...-" you swallow through incessant tears. "Or so I thought. I decided to get rid of it, Simon. But seeing what's done to us. What I've done... I'm so fucking sorry I don't deserve-"

Suddenly you're engulfed by strong arms and a broad chest as you finally let go and cry rivers of pain and regret. He's murmuring sweet things in your ear that you can't understand die to your deteriorating situation.

"It's okay. It's okay, love. Fucking hell, should've come to me." He growled. "Don't you ever do this to me again, kid. You didn't have to do it alone. Christ."

There's a soft kiss on the top of your head as your cries start to die down and all there's left are soft whimpers.

"I never meant to leave you, but I couldn't be close to you after what I did behind your back." You sniff.

The ever gentle caressing of his thumb on your back never ceases, providing the comfort you so desperately seek.

"S'alright, love. Nothing to be sorry about." He takes a step back keeping you at arms length. "There she is." A little broken but starting to be pieced back together. He gently wipes your cheeks and breathes deep. "I'm here. Always."

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fallenfaiiry · 1 month ago

Text

as many of u have noticed, i've decided to change my name to Eevee (Evie)💜

Its not a legal change but its my preference to be called Eevee from now on instead of my previous name. I've wanted to change my name for the last few years but never found something that felt like it fit me. my old name has so much trauma and bad vibes associated with it. for ppl who don't get it, it may sound silly but its the truth. i am a recovering addict and abuse survivor. many people don't know that the biological father of one of my sons is a dangerous psychopath who has threatened me and my family many times and also has previous gun charges from threatening to shoot the other mother of his child. i know thats a personal thing to share but when i say i'm changing my name i want ppl to understand the gravity of what it means for me to do this without just assuming its some quirky nickname. i live in constant fear of him finding me or coming to harm me or my son. he hasn't been allowed near me or him since he was a newborn (thank god). i also still have people who used to sell me drugs in active addiction finding me and trying to offer them to me or ppl who have stalked/harassed me slandering my old name for years.

i would like to eventually change my name legally, to further solidify my safety and truly leave behind my old identity. If i do it would be Evie (still pronounced Eevee). For those wondering why i chose the name; Evie was actually one of the names my mom considered using as my middle name, so i already know she likes it lol and of course the pokémon eevee.

i've loved pokémon since i was in diapers. and recently i've rekindled my passion for it and i've been playing pokémon games on my switch for the first time in forever and rewatching all the original episodes with my kids. i fully plan to get back into collecting cards again too💜 i already have a pretty large collection as it is and my oldest son started getting into pokémon himself so its something we can both bond over together🥰 and as you've probably guessed by now, Eevee is my favorite pokémon.

sorry for the long paragraphs, but this has been on my mind for a very long time and i decided i'm finally going to do it. 🥰

so please don't refer to my old name because its dead to me now. i don't want to actually call it a deadname because i'm not trans and it doesn't feel right to use that term, but please respect my preference from now on. 💙 i may even make a new twitter since my old name is plastered all over that one and i don't want anyone getting confused.

xo, Eevee Jones✨

#🌙

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allgoodnamesrgoneee · 2 months ago

Text

✨ New Patreon Upload! ✨

Hey everyone! I’ve just uploaded a new Jude fic on my Patreon, and you definitely don’t want to miss it!

Head over now to check it out and show some love! 🙌

📖 Link in bio! ✨ Let me know your thoughts after reading! 💬

Don't forget my Patreon is now available for $3 for the month of December; don't miss your chance to catch up on all the exclusive content before the month ends!

Love Is The Best Medicine

Masterlist

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — The one where you give him the best medicine known to man...love.

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — Jude Bellingham x Physical Therapist!You

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 15.8k

Warnings! ANGST!! Jude is injured, he gets frustrated, FLUFF!! you treat him so well, older!reader (by like 3 years), SMUT (18+), oral sex (f & m receiving), soft sex, they are in lovveee,

Preview

**********

Jude Bellingham had never thought of himself as someone who crumbled under pressure.

In fact, he thrived on it—fed off it, even. Pressure was the fire that forged him, the force that sharpened his edges and propelled him forward. It had always been that way.

Whether it was a make-or-break game in the cup, a league decider under the glaring floodlights at Anfield, or an all-or-nothing match where everything hung precariously in the balance, Jude could always rise to the occasion.

He lived for those moments when the roar of the crowd was deafening and the stakes were sky-high. He wore pressure like a second skin.

But right now, he didn’t know how to keep going.

“Bellingham!” someone called out urgently, the sound barely piercing through the haze of pain and frustration clouding his mind.

He gritted his teeth and tried to push himself up, his hands digging into the damp turf. His body protested, but he wasn’t someone who stayed down—not in games, not in life. But as soon as he put weight on his ankle, white-hot pain shot through him, stealing the breath from his lungs. His leg gave out, and he crumpled back to the ground with a groan that sounded more like a growl.

“Fuck,” he hissed through clenched teeth, his hands instinctively clutching at his ankle. The sharp, unrelenting ache felt like a thousand needles stabbing into one spot, radiating upward with every throb of his pulse.

The referee was beside him now, crouching down with a furrowed brow. “Are you alright, mate?” he asked, his voice laced with concern.

Jude didn’t trust himself to speak. He shook his head instead, his face a mask of pain and frustration. The game—his game—was slipping away, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Within a minute, the medics were there, their hands efficient but gentle as they assessed the injury. Before he knew it, he was being eased onto a stretcher. The world seemed to tilt as they lifted him, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he felt powerless.

As the stretcher began its slow journey off the pitch, Jude’s mind raced, his thoughts a tangled mess of fear and anger. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Not for him. Not like this.

**********

-Bianca🌻

#footballer x reader #jude bellingham x reader #jude x you #jude bellingham #jude x reader #jb5 x reader

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harrywavycurly · 10 months ago

Note

Hey Sarah I’m in a mood and I was wondering if you could break my heart (pls put it back together tho) with any of the Eddies or Joes

Hiii lovey!! I will gladly break your heart and I’m gonna be totally honest I had a whole moment where I went “what if…I don’t put it back together?” but don’t worry I will…eventually(I really will fix it I promise) 🙈 but I did this in a conversation formate because that’s how it flowed the best in my mind so I hope you enjoy💖

-I had to create a whole new Eddie for this because I simply couldn’t bring myself to break any of my precious babies hearts😂

A/N: This has a cliff hanger and I’m sorry I feel like it’s necessary and you’ll see why, don’t hate me✨

“You know staring at it won’t make it magically disappear right?…you’re gonna have to open it eventually.” “Gee thanks Steve…what would I do without your words of wisdom?” “Listen jackass sitting here on your front porch staring at a cardboard box isn’t exactly how I planned on spending my Friday night okay?” “Then why’d you come over?” “Because…you called and sounded all…upset…and you’re like one of my bestfriends so…here I am.” “Thanks…” “So…what’d you do?” “I fucked up.” “I mean yeah…that’s a little obvious…I mean what did you actually do to make her send all your stuff back in a box marked…the asshole’s stuff?” “We got into an argument and she walked out and I didn’t go after her.” “Wait..what?..what do you mean you didn’t go after her?” “I mean exactly what I said Steve…I said some shit…she said some shit and then she left and I just…let her….” “What was this argument about?” “She got a wedding invitation from some girl we went to high school with and it made her all…happy and hopeful for our future and..she started talking about us getting married and I just…I’m not ready for all that shit man I’m only twenty three I can’t be someone’s husband.” “Okay so you just tell her you’re not ready yet…you don’t just throw in the fucking towel Eddie.” “You didn’t see her face when she was talking about our lives together Steve…she’s ready for that like right now and I don’t…I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.” “What exactly did you say to her?” “I just told her…if she’s looking for someone to marry she’s looking in the wrong place…and…and she just..called me a selfish asshole and left.” “Well she wasn’t wrong…and that’s when you just let her drive away?” “I didn’t even move from the couch…I sat there the rest of the night because I just assumed she’d come back after she calmed down a bit.” “You’re such an idiot man…but just tell me…is it the idea of being with her forever that you don’t think you’re ready for? Or is just being her husband you can’t wrap your head around?” “I love her…more than anyone and I know she’s it for me but I’m not husband material Steve and that’s not…fare to her.” “Oh fuck off with that…she clearly thinks your husband material or she wouldn’t bring it up so don’t go trying to say you did this as a favor to her okay? You did this because you’re scared.” “I’m not scared.” “Yes you fucking are Eddie…you’re terrified that someone else loves you so much that they literally want to be legally bound to you…that’s some heavy shit man so I get it but that’s why you made her run away…it has nothing to do with this lame ass excuse of you not being husband material.” “I just..I don’t want to fuck it up..I’ve seen enough horrible marriages I don’t need to be apart of one too.” “Sorry to break it to you man but…you kinda already did.” “Yeah…I did didn’t I? She couldn’t even write my name on the box…” “Oh asshole isn’t your first name? I’m shocked.” “Fuck off…” “Sorry…but you wanna go through it now or…wait?” “I don’t need to go through it…I know what’s in it.” “Oh really? What?” “A few mix cds I made her… a teddy bear from a claw machine at the arcade…some letters…a photo of us at the lake one summer and hopefully a few Metallica shirts.” “Letters?” “Yeah? We used to write each other all the time…it was like our way of expressing how we felt sometimes when we couldn’t really…get the words out…why are you looking at me like that?” “Do you want her back?” “What?” “Answer the question man.” “Yes…yes I want her back…” “Just checking…because…I may have an idea…” “Okay…I’m listening…”

#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson au #eddie munson angst #Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #Eddie Munson #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things au #my little dungeon master baby #my little fluffy haired baby

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j0kers-light · 1 year ago

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Hello ! I have a ledger joker request It’s probably very stupid and not really your style but ah,,,it’s a scenario where the reader has enough of his bs like he probably pissed her off in some way (either from what he said, what he did or maybe she got tired of his dangerous lifestyle??)and the reader wants to break up,,,,how would he react and how would the story escalate lol,,, it could be angsty leading to fluff or even smut 🫣 or everything and anything I mean I really don’t mind haha,,,I hope it’s not too much

His Lighthouse: Goodbye (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Goodbye - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A STORY UPDATE!

Hey hi anon! 🖤✨

This ask is soooooo old forgive me senpai! I found it buried deep in the August section! I held onto it because I loved the synopsis. I will say that your ask is NOT STUPID! It was out of my style (its rare I'll let Joker and Y/n break up) but I filled it anyway!

I still don't like the ending but practice makes perfect! Expect another break up fic in the future!

YALL NEED SOME MUTEMATH IN YA LIVES!

tag list:

@blackreaderatrisk @clemdango04 @l3ejm @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher @ins0mniac-whack @spaghettificationandpretzels @reneisance @alittlesmartcookie @ninacutebee16 @carydorse

Shoot me a request if you wanna be added to the HL taglist!

Joker really thought you were different. He assumed that you could stomach through the highs and lows of his fast paced lifestyle and remain by his side. You made it this far, why couldn't you last until forever?

Joker should have known his Light would crack under pressure.

If he wasn't so blinded by work, he would've noticed the signs. Your brilliant smile failed to reach your eyes, you stopped waiting up for him after his long nights out, and the unquestionable love that you held for him was no longer there. He was too busy destroying a city to notice; he didn't have time to worry about you or anything else.

And that proved to be his downfall.

It was the fourth night this week that Joker came home late and exhausted.

He would come in as loud as can be, shower off, raid your fridge, all before crashing in bed. Not one hello or a welcome home kiss was sent your way. You used to be his main focus, now you were grateful for any semblance of acknowledgement.

You eventually trained yourself not to be bothered by it, no matter how depressing it was to be cast aside.

A news broadcast explained that Joker was having a stressful few months evading police while still managing to wreak havoc on the city. The fact that you learned this information from a GCN segment and not from Joker himself, was a slap in the face.

The old Joker used to talk to you about these things. Sure he omitted majority of the details to keep you safe, but still, he used to keep you informed! You knew next to nothing now. You were completely in the dark.

You couldn't remember the last time you talked to Joker let alone touched him. You missed the long late night conversations and the passion that would eventually follow. You missed your partner in so many ways. How many nights have you gone without his love, desperate and lonely?

Things between you and J were more than strained and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. You could understand a few days of this distance, it was going on three months.

You doubted if you could stomach any longer.

In the beginning it was like a dream being with Joker. You were his Light, his Goddess, his reason for existing. He would do anything for you and he showered you with love and affection to prove his devotion. You were happy and totally blinded by his affection.

But by the time you noticed it was gone, reality settled in and stung like a bee. You were addicted to Joker and he was cruel to take away your fix.

He knew you had separation anxiety and it only worsened by the day. Your thoughts were plenty. Did he not love you anymore? Was there someone else? Was there anything you could do to repair this strained relationship?

You had so many questions and Joker was never around to answer them. So you spiraled into self doubt.

Joker didn't notice your change in demeanor since he was hardly at the apartment anymore. He only came home to eat, sleep, shower, and go back to work. He was so busy he couldn't spare you a second.

You tried to get his attention multiple times but he was always in a rush.

You tried cornering him while he was in the bathroom but still no dice. He would lock the door and you couldn't talk to him before bed due to the clash in sleep schedules. You slept while he was up and vice versa.

At times you thought Joker was creating distance on purpose. No man could be that busy! He wasn't in the past. Joker always made time for you. You wondered why he stopped.

Regardless, you vowed that things would be different. You were going to earn Joker's attention whether he liked it or not.

This was his last chance to acknowledge you. You knew your worth; you didn't deserve this cold treatment without just cause. And if Joker wouldn't cherish what he had, then you would move on and find someone who would.

You didn't need Joker and his toxic energy weighing you down. If he didn't fix his attitude then you were done.

You decided to confront J and give him a chance to correct his behavior as a common courtesy.

Joker usually got ready around seven pm so if you caught him before eight, you could talk to him before he left for the night.

You felt neglected and unloved by a man who swore to treat you like a goddess down to his dying breath. It was high time you put your foot down and held him accountable.

Everything was going according to plan until Joker deviated from his normal schedule.

He was already dressed and heading towards the door around six in the afternoon. The time threw you off and you almost missed him as he passed by.

You were cleaning the dishes in the kitchen but grabbed a towel to wipe your hands and run after J.

"Wait J! I need to talk to you!"

Much to your surprise he kept walking. Okay....? Was he flat out ignoring you now? You wouldn't be surprised.

You were still clinging onto the hope that this funk of his was a result of a stressful work situation. He wouldn't be busy forever and soon enough, he'd have all the time in the world for you but in the meantime, he didn't have to take his frustrations from work out on you.

You caught up to him in the living room and halted his movements with a smile. "Didn't you hear me? I wanna talk—"

"I don'T have time for this." Joker said under his breath. You heard it loud and clear. He arched an eyebrow at your stunned face. "What. Whaddya want?"

He never spoke to you like that before. You were at loss for words. He clicked his tongue in anger for wasting his time.

"Exactly. Nothing. Now... move." He shoved you away and you barely caught your balance from falling over.

Did he just?

You laughed to yourself and blinked in disbelief. "I know this white man didn't just push me." You mumbled to yourself.

You looked straight into an imaginary camera and laughed again. That didn't happen. If you acted a fool and went off on Joker, then somehow you'd be in the wrong.

For months you felt lesser than and suffered through his silent treatment but not any more. You were sick and tired of being neglected and in that moment, you reached your breaking point.

Only seconds had passed since Joker pushed you but it seemed like time slowed as he neared the door. You couldn't let him leave.

Joker was about to turn the doorknob when he heard you.

"I just wanted a few minutes of your time but then you had the audacity to push me?! Boy... have you done lost your mind cuz I'll help you find it!" You stomped to stand in front of Joker. He just arched an eyebrow at you.

Was he supposed to be frightened by you or something? You barely came up to his chest.

"I've had it with you! You don't talk to me anymore, you're never here! It's clear you're done with this relationship! It's like I'm dating a ghost and I do not have it to do! So! Here's an ultimatum. Either stay and we work this out or walk out that door and see what happens! The choice is yours."

You meant business this time. You were fed up with Joker not meeting you halfway in this relationship. You wanted things to go back to normal... back to when he proved he cared about you and meant it. Was that too much to ask for?

Apparently so. Joker simply rolled his eyes at your little performance, "Are ya done?"

Angry hot tears welled up in your eyes and you felt as if you were going to explode. You smiled through the pain and poked Joker's chest. He made his choice, now it was your turn.

"Am I done? Nah, I haven't even started." You waved him off. "Just go."

Your heart pleaded with him to do the exact opposite yet it broke into two when Joker scoffed and left your apartment without a word.

It would be the last time he did.

The next twenty four hours was the worst in Joker's life. He was leaving your apartment building when Frost called and explained that the planned mission for the night had already gone south.

Joker wasn't having the best of luck these days. Nothing was going right. It would take the rest of night and probably tomorrow to square things away so they could reattempt the mission at a later date.

The last thing he needed was something else to screw up after a day full of dumb mistakes.

Joker was bone tired by the time he boarded the elevator up to your apartment. He mashed the top floor button and sagged his weight on the walls with a sigh.

Joker didn't forget that he left on a bitter note and he hoped you were in a better mood now. You did have an entire day to calm down without him around.

He knew how stressful these past few months were and not just for him, but for you as well.

He foolishly put his work over you and the consequences were coming back to bite. His Bunny was rowdy and at her breaking point.

All he needed was another week or so and then he'd have ample amount of time to spoil you with the attention you deserved.

He walked off the elevator and down the short hallway to your front door. Nothing seemed amiss until he tried opening the door with his key.

It didn't fit.

He tried again and then he noticed it wasn't his key that was messed up, it was the door itself. You changed the f__king locks.

Joker tipped his head back and laughed.

How naïve you must be to think this would stop him. It only took two hard shoves with his shoulder and the door broke open. He barged in with inertia but stopped in his tracks at the sight of your apartment.

What was once a bright and eclectic space was now devoid of life. White dust sheets covered every available surface like an abandoned house and the whimsical air that usually flowed throughout the place was gone.

He tried turning the lights on but they didn't work. He ventured over to the fridge and jerked it open, only to find it completely empty. Even the faucet in the kitchen ran dry. It was as if you vanished and preserved the apartment for safekeeping.

All the doors in the apartment were locked and your precious houseplants in the sunroom were gone.

You were gone.

Joker didn't panic at first. Shock was clouding his judgment. There was no way you just up and left in a day.

His eyes darted around looking for any kind of clue but nothing remained. However, Joker was smart. He nodded to himself as he took the stairs back down to the front lobby, three at a time.

He rarely came down here and he hardly paid the workers any attention but today they would be his saving grace.

It was the crack of dawn yet an employee was already stationed at the front desk, typing on the computer.

Joker hit the counter before fixing the employee with a glare.

"O-Oh h-hello sir, you startled me! Good morning. May I help you with something?" She took in Joker's tight green eyes and his frantic demeanor but kept quiet.

She also wondered why he wore a face mask but she kept those thoughts to herself too.

"Y/n L/n. Top floor. Where did she go?" He demanded.

She wasn't at liberty to disclose any information about tenants but if she didn't say anything to his man, she knew he wouldn't be too thrilled. It went against protocol but just this once, she'd share what she knew.

Joker was glad she made the right choice. A few taps to her keyboard brought up your profile.

"Miss. L/n, let's see. She left.. yesterday afternoon! I don't know when she's returning since she didn't include a return date on the Tenant Leave paperwork. Would you like to.. um sir? Sir?"

Joker left the front desk as soon as he heard the word left. He glanced at his pocket watch and grimaced.

It was seven in the morning. Joker left a little before seven pm the day before which meant you had a full day to disappear anywhere in the world. His panic finally kicked in. You actually picked up and left him.

He couldn't believe it until your words from the night before echoed in his head and stopped him in his tracks.

"Either stay and we work this out or walk out that door and see what happens! The choice is yours!"

You asked Joker to stay and talk and he would wager it was about his attitude over the past months and about not giving you any attention. He put work above his Light and this was the consequence.

He never expected you to leave and change the locks. This was bad. Real bad.

You had a full day to travel anywhere and your royalties did not limit you on how far you could go. It was concerning that your security detail didn't report anything awry this entire time. They should've been the first to know if you decided to pick up and leave and Joker's immediate thought was the worst outcome.

Perhaps you didn't leave willingly. Joker had to see this with his own eyes. Good thing he installed security cameras all over your apartment, they came in handy at a time like this.

Joker arrived at this main hideout like a man on a mission.

The first thing he did was check with your security detail and drill them on your whereabouts for the past twenty four hours.

Much to his shock, they had absolutely no clue you were gone. That was just unacceptable so he got rid of them, permanently.

Joker's theory of you being kidnapped was proving to be a possibility until he locked himself in the control room and reviewed the camera feed.

He re-winded it back to ten minutes after he left your apartment and sighed once he saw you break down into tears. His heart ached seeing you in so much pain but after a while, you picked yourself up and disappeared into your private room. All was quiet until bright and early that morning, multiple movers and the apartment building's preservation committee stormed into your penthouse.

There were a dozen people moving in and out of your apartment from seven in the morning to late in the day.

They worked to remove the essentials you wanted out and set about spreading dust sheets over everything else that remained.

Two workers cleaned out your fridge and pantry while another team moved your plants from the sunroom with the utmost care. You stood watch through it all, pointing at what could stay or go, sporting a frown on your face and puffy eyes.

It was evident that you were crying all night and they worked twice as fast to remove you from this situation.

The apartment building manager came around noon with some paperwork and Joker turned up the audio so he could hear the conversation better.

"Alright Miss. L/n you're already aware of your ten year contract with us but I have to reiterate. You are obligated to pay rent during your extended leave of absence and you must return to full residency status before your contract expires. Do you have any questions?"

He set down the legal work on your kitchen counter and waited for you to respond. You didn't spare him or the agreement a glance.

The bookshelf team gave you a thumbs up when all your books were accounted for. They were the last to leave the apartment since no one was allowed in your room. You watched them haul out the boxes you pre-packed last night out the door.

"Will the water and power be turned off or will that be included in LOA rent?" You asked.

"Oh, that's excluded! Your normal rent is what? A high six here or there, so rent will be reduced to three thousand in your absence per month."

Joker always wondered how much your rent was. He was shocked to say the least. By no means was he a cheapskate but he wasn't so flippant with money either.

You nodded offhandedly at the property manager.

"Fax the agreement to my manager's office and they'll review it before I sign. Thank you all so much!" You shouted to the workers doing their final sweep of the place.

They nodded and waved back in thanks before leaving.

The preservation team was placing the final sheet on your custom dining table before they also waved goodbye. You returned your focus back to the apartment employee.

Now it was just you and him in the entire penthouse.

"I'm sorry. You were saying?"

He shook his head but returned to his previous thought. "Uh yes.. Might I ask your expected return date? Will it be longer than six months?"

You sighed. This was a spontaneous decision.

You honestly did not know how long you were going to be mad at Joker. He abandoned you for months and your heart just couldn't take the neglect anymore. How long was long enough to forgive such a betrayal?

This decision might be extreme from an outsider's perspective, but you saw no other alternative. Joker was not a man one could reason with. If his dreams of mass destruction were more important than your love, then you'd leave and let him have at it.

Things were not supposed to be permanent between the two of you anyway. Joker had long since overstayed his welcome and you were a fool to let him stay pro bono.

It could take the rest of your life for Joker to see what he lost. You had the patience; didn't mean it wouldn't hurt.

You heaved a sigh. "Undecided. I have another residence I'll be staying at until my return."

The locksmith gave you the thumbs up and stood outside the door. Everything was ready for your departure. All that was left to do was perform a last sweep of the place before the power and water were cut.

Your manager spoke up. "Of course. I'll leave it blank." He gathered the paperwork and sent a nod your way before boarding the elevator with the locksmith. Then you were left alone.

Joker couldn't believe his eyes as you walked around, running your hands over the covered furniture with a bittersweet smile. Your penthouse held so many memories and you were leaving it all behind.

"I know you'll watch this later. Whenever you're not busy enough to notice me gone." You said out loud.

Joker bristled in his seat. Much to his surprise, you locked eyes with one of his hidden cameras and spoke candidly.

"Is killing the bat more important than me, your precious Light? If it is.. then don't bother trying to find me. I'll be far away from your reign of terror soon enough. G-Goodbye Joker."

He watched you turn off the lights for the final time and close the door on your way out. Joker was speechless as you rode the elevator down to the main lobby and hopped into a SUV before it turned the corner out of camera range. He couldn't read the license plate it moved to fast.

Silence fell over the apartment's remaining camera feed before it went dark as the building manager cut the power. You were gone and you took the light with you.

He felt numb.

Joker sat for the longest trying to get his bearings straight. Was his work more important than you? Joker wasn't so sure anymore. His hands were shaking and there was a buzzing in his ear that wouldn't go away.

Shock. He was going through shock.

Remembering your tears were what brought him back. Leaving was hard on you too. You didn't want to go and that gave him the strength to take action.

Joker had to win you back at any cost. He jumped out of his seat so fast it spun and fell over. He brought his phone up to his ear to start issuing out orders.

"Check flights out of Gotham to errr.. Martha's Vineyard. She went to the beach house n' I want the.. jet ready when I get to the airporT."

Joker was calculating how long it would take him to fly full speed when, twenty minutes later, his phone buzzed with a text.

Beach house empty boss.

An attachment was sent over with a message thread from the gang's Boston division leader. J read it over while raking a hand through his greasy hair. There was no movement detected at the beachfront property and no flights out suggested that you headed there.

If you weren't in Massachusetts then where on Earth were you? Joker didn't have much time to mull it over.

The more time he wasted was another minute separated from you. You didn't have any other pins on the map to flee to except....

J made another call. "Blüdhaven. She went home." He growled into the receiver. Why didn't he think of it sooner?

Frost copied loud and clear and quickly called in an old favor to validate the claim but much to his surprise, his informant came up short.

It was a tough message to deliver but Frost was the right man for the job. He had to deliver this news in person. Joker was still at the main hideout packing an overnight bag when he felt a presence behind him.

There was only one person brave enough to walk up on Joker.

Frost shifted his weight standing in the doorway. There wasn't a nice way to put this so he just came out with it. "She's not in Blüdhaven."

He watched Joker stop packing and drag out a deep sigh. It came straight from the soul and carried the frustration of the situation.

Frost knew his boss better than anyone and knew this was hurting the clown in more ways than one. "We got face recognition software running through all the states, boss. We'll find her."

"She uh.. dared me to walk out and I did like a fool. Now she's gone. I... I lost my light." Joker tipped his head back laughing. It was bitter on the wind. "'t's not so funny now."

Frost had never seen his boss look so defeated before. It was truly a dark day indeed.

Everyone noticed the sudden change in Joker. He was far more irritable and bitter. One mistake and it would cost someone their life— no questions asked.

The original stress that was weighing on the entire gang was gone and replaced with the unknown variable that vexed Joker. It was literally like walking on eggshells around him.

Joker's patience was non-existent and only Frost could speak to him for longer than two minutes and survive afterwards.

Joker was back to his old, more unhinged self. He couldn't sleep a full eight hours anymore and used copious amounts of sweets to stay awake. As a result, his alertness wasn't the same and regrettably, Joker let the voices you silenced long ago return to haunt his every thought.

Mac, Neo, and Frost took it amongst themselves to help the gang stay afloat.

They could not afford to appear weak to the rival gangs or to the GCPD during this moment of uncertainty. The top three could run the illegal business, no sweat.

Joker was too busy trying to find his Light to care.

The face recognition software was a dead end. It was as if you fell off the face of the Earth which was impossible for someone as high profile as you.

You still posted online to your fans (bouncing your IP address off of servers from overseas; Joker always said you were a smart bunny) and kept an active social media profile. But off the screen? You were a ghost.

Joker had no clue where you were and neither did the countless goons scattered across the country who were secretly looking for you.

You were somehow doing the impossible— alluding Joker and his wide stretch of power. He used his assets across the US to try and track you down with no success.

At one point he feared the worst and assumed you were dead and that some imposter kept your socials active until he got the best lead he had in months.

These days Joker kept to himself in the underground hideout, the same one that he kissed you in for the first time. When he closed his eyes, he could picture it as if it were happening all over again.

He couldn't bring himself to step foot in your apartment when you weren't there to brighten its cold interior.

That place was dead to him if you weren't there.

A pile of return to residency letters from the apartment office were scattered in the corner of his room along with the other assorted mail he intercepted. He told himself that you would want to see them when— not if, but when you returned. That was the thin thread of hope that Joker clung to.

You had to come back and he'd wait for you.

He was mindlessly staring at the walls when Frost and Mac burst into the room. They shared a look at Joker's obvious depression but decided to deliver the good news anyhow.

"We found her! She's hosting an art event!" They both saw the glimmer of hope enter Joker's sad eyes.

"It'll be held in Dallas, TX two days from now. We already contacted the Dallas division and they'll be expecting our arrival." Mac's joy was evident in his tone. "We found her boss!"

Joker tried to be optimistic but he needed solid proof.

Over the span of five months, you hinted and failed to make due on any in-person meet and greets. He knew you were keeping a low profile to elude him but your fans weren't happy by the fact. They wanted to see you and so did Joker.

J was still a big fan of yours.. And if it was one thing you loved in this world, it was your fans. You could never let them down.

You were coming out of hiding for them. Frost handed Joker a printed copy of the announcement.

It was an aesthetically pleasing invitation depicting the time, date, and location of a local artist's exhibit. Joker knew what was going on. One of your fans was having an exhibit and you agreed to bring in publicity while earning some money on the side. You were listed as a special guest who would sign books to match every purchase made at the show.

It was an incentive for people to buy and it gave you good PR.

It was a good business deal and Joker smirked knowing that you were the brains behind the idea. You loved giving back whenever you could.

Joker nodded at his men for a job well done. They would be on the move to touch down in Texas and get a feel of the area before the event.

After five long months, Joker would finally see the light.

Everything was going to plan as Joker and his team held up in a hotel a couple blocks from the event.

The chips were all set and the only thing standing in the way was the rain.

"What if it's cancelled?" Mac whispered to his comrade.

He wasn't the only one thinking the same thought. The day started out clear with some stray clouds in the sky but nothing concerning. But as the event start time drew closer, the sky split open and a downpour fell with no end in sight. There were sporadic times where it let up, bringing hope of a dry afternoon, only to darken and rain again.

Neo fixed the blond with a deadpan stare. They did not travel all this way for some rain to stop them.

"Then we follow her back to where she's staying and corner her there. Simple. We ain't leaving til the Boss sees B. Look at him man.." Neo nodded in Joker's direction and they both turned to look at their boss.

Joker was pacing the hotel suite already dressed in disguise for the event.

He was mumbling to himself (louder than normal) and they could hear your name and jumbled up apologizes mixed in between lighthearted threats to never leave him again. He would pause, nodding sagely, before breaking out into a laugh at something you said.

Joker was having a conversation with you to himself.

Mac nodded at Neo, still watching the horrific sight. "Yeah... he's lost it."

Frost came into the suite and spared Joker a fleeting, concerning, glance. "It's a go. Let's head out."

They walked down to the back entrance and into cars to make it to the popup building in the heart of the art district.

It wasn't an overly formal event but they each blended in with their dress attire. It was to be expected once they stepped into the glass enclosed building.

Despite the rain, the place was crowded. The sun was setting over the horizon and live music was playing off in the corner as people mingled and socialized amongst themselves.

Tasteful art ranging from contemporary artwork to mixed media sculptures decorated the all white area. It was dimly lit and still, the place shined, all thanks to the event's special guest.

You were walking arm in arm with a fan of yours, who was also an up-and coming artist on the Dallas stage. She was responsible for the framed art hanging over your fireplace in Joker's bedroom.

She was dressed in all black whereas you were the pop of color. There was an aura surrounding you and Joker truly believed the sky cleared because you smiled and told it to.

Someone handed you a mic as the last raindrops hit against the glass ceiling overhead.

"Well would you look at that?!" The crowd chuckled in unison and gave you their undivided attention.

"Good afternoon day! Thank you all for braving the rain to attend this special event! I am honored to announce a good friend of mine's first art exhibit! She has worked tirelessly to make today possible so please, I will literally hold each person who leaves empty handed accountable. And may Hunter use you for archery practice."

The crowd laughed at the inside joke to your book and you continued with a smile, "But seriously! I present.. (insert favorite artist)."

You began the round of applause as your dearest reader and online friend hugged and took the mic (and attention) from you.

She went on about the inspiration for her debut collection and reminded everyone that with each purchase they would receive a signed copy of your latest trilogy.

Joker cancelled out the rest of her chatter; he couldn't take his eyes off of you. He was hypnotized.

He thought you would be depressed and miserable these past five months but you looked perfectly fine, thriving even. You had a glow about yourself and your smile was as bright as ever yet he couldn't ignore the obvious.

It didn't reach your eyes.

It took a person who knew you well to notice. Your smiles were wide and expressive but there was a ghost of sadness haunting your eyes. It broke Joker's heart to bear witness to it.

If Frost didn't grab his arm, Joker would've knocked down the throng of people to get to you. Joker growled at Frost for touching him but the henchman knew it was an empty threat.

"Patience. Wait until she's alone." Frost whispered.

It would've been nice to know that would be next to impossible!

For the next hour and a half, you mingled with people and thanked others for their purchases. Joker knew you weren't a people person, and definitely not an extrovert to handle all this attention. You were gonna drop like a drained bunny tonight. He hoped you'd be back in his arms by then; however, there was no open window for him to swoop in to make that happen.

Joker had Frost and the others fan out as he circled the showroom floor, pretending to take in the art pieces. J was admiring a picture that he thought you would like when his eyes caught movement.

A man dressed in black came and whispered in your ear once you finished talking with a customer.

Joker was instantly jealous and wanted to brutally murder the man until he noticed his role. You hired security. How cute.

He'd deal with that later. He was more focused on what was being reported.

Whatever was spoken wasn't good. You failed at hiding your frown as your e/c eyes darted around the room. Your eyes missed Joker by a hair.

"S__t, I think we've been spotted." Mac sighed into the group's earpieces.

Neo seconded that statement when you tapped your artist friend on the shoulder. You excused yourself for a few minutes and she bid you well before focusing back on making a big dollar sale.

You waved and smiled sweetly at others as you made your way through the crowd. "She's moving, now's your chance, Boss."

It didn't matter who said it, Joker heard it loud and clear.

He nodded and walked away from the painting to where you disappeared to. You were standing in a back hallway arguing with your head of security.

"What do you mean he's here?! You promised me it was safe and now you're telling me the complete opposite?!"

He grabbed your hands to calm you down, "Y/n, I know what I said, but things can change. This is The Joker we're talking about. What matters is getting you to safety okay? Lemme do my job." He was leaning in to caress your face when he gasped in pain.

"Miles? What's wrong?" You looked on wide eyed as Joker pulled a knife out the poor man's back and stepped into view.

Miles took his last breath and fell to the floor in front of you. You took one look at Joker and froze.

"J... Y-You just.."

Joker scratched his head with the bloody knife, "What? He was about to... touch.. you. I can'T have that. Can't. Have. That.. Now! Hi." He saw you were about to scream and he rushed over to cover your mouth.

Your back hit the wall and Joker shushed you sweetly when you struggled. He hated how you were looking at him in fear.

"Don't do that Bunny. No.. no no no this is not how I planned our lit-le uh, reunion. Mkay? Shhh. Let's... let's start over... I missed ya Bunny, where ya been?" Joker asked.

He leaned in closer and rubbed his scarred cheek against yours. You flinched and tried to avoid his touch altogether. He hardly noticed and enjoyed his first dose of contact with you in months.

You knew that time could change a person but the Joker holding you was vastly different from the one you loved. He terrified you and not in a good way.

He let his hand slip from your mouth so you could talk. "Away f-from you!" You hissed.

"Don't be like that Bunny. I just.. I just wanted to see ya." He mumbled way too close to your lips. His breath fanned over them and you shoved him back in a panic.

"G-Great! You saw me, now leave me alone!" You glanced at the dead body near your feet and whimpered. You knew what kind of man Joker was but physical reminders were a bitter pill to swallow.

"Why are you here?"

He didn't respond. Since you pushed him away, he turned his attention to your beautiful hair. You had it down for the event and he buried his nose into the luscious curls before breathing in deeply. His eyes rolled back at the familiar scent reentering his nostrils. He missed you so much.

You on the other hand were freaked out. "Joker!"

He sighed at your tone but leaned back to stare straight into your eyes. "Come home."

"Excuse me?"

He curled a strand of your hair around his finger. "It's not the same. I'm not the same." He stressed.

"Sounds like a personal problem." You gritted out.

You tried to slip away from Joker's imposing figure but he had you blocked in. You did well to erase Joker from your life these past few months and you weren't about to let him sweet talk his way back into your good graces. And especially not since he just killed another man for simply trying to do his job.

You didn't know what had changed Joker but you weren't going to stick around and find out. You didn't care if he wasn't the same; you weren't either, but day by day the pain he caused was healing. His appearance today was just lemon juice on a fresh cut.

Joker pouted and pretended that your words didn't affect him. On the inside, he was tearing at the seams. All this time and you were still upset with him?

What on Earth did he do?!

"You neglected me, that's what! For three months I tried to get your attention and you iced me out! Work was more important! You didn't have time for me! You stopped making time for us! I ached for you and you weren't there Joker! And you don't even care!"

He didn't know he asked you aloud but he was finally getting the answers he sought after all these months in the dark.

Joker knew exactly what you were referring to. There was a gang turf war going on and he couldn't afford to be distracted. He was extremely busy at work but he didn't mean to push you away.

You began to cry as you confessed to J.

"I was alone and miserable! I-I thought you hated me or didn't l-love me anymo–"

Joker snarled and quickly wiped your tears away. He then grabbed your face and forced you to stare into his pleading green eyes.

"Listen to me, I could never hate ya Bunny. I thoughT I told you to never think that. I cannot... function.. without you. These.. uh, months apart have been hell. You think I could hate you? No. No, another moment away from you is enough penance but I know you, Bunny. My Light, my sweet girl.."

He rested his forehead against yours and you hiccupped as tears ran down your face. Joker and his way with words were getting to you.

"My Light would not let me suffer in vain. I made a promise, Y/n. I'd never hurt you– I didn't mean to, I was working to protect you. Everything I do is to keep you safe. Never doubt that. I don't hate you, I need you. I can't stannnnd the dark, doll."

You were listening but it wasn't enough to sway your heart. "You pushed me away.. I felt so alone." You cried.

Joker shushed you again and wrapped you up in his arms. His exhale shook your frame and made you crumble. You couldn't run away from Joker.

He was forever bound to your heart and soul, that no distance or margin of time could unravel him. You felt so stupid for running away and you broke down into helpless tears.

Joker hummed and began rocking you in his arms. His warm hands rubbed crazy figure eights on your back as he reacquainted himself with holding your body.

You still fit like a puzzle piece in his arms with your head resting perfectly against his chest. He had to lean down a bit to rest his head atop yours but in this position, he could protect you in all aspects.

He missed being a savior. He missed having a purpose. He hoped you gave him a second chance.

"I need my Light. P-Please come back to me. I'll do the any-thing to have the uhh, honor, of callin' you mine again. Please Y/n."

He squeezed you tighter after saying please. Such a rare word in Joker's vocabulary, you knew he was serious. Your head shot up to stare at him. The sight that greeted you almost made you faint.

He couldn't be... You cupped Joker's face and nodded.

"I need you too. I'm so sorry for running away, please forgive me, Joker." You kissed him and he followed your lips when you pulled back. "I'll come back, heck I'll come home tonight! London is way too dreary for my tastes."

Joker stiffened up hearing the locale. "What?"

You didn't hear him since your eyes connected with your dead head of security. "Joker, you killed someone!!"

"So?" He grabbed your chin to face him again. "I got my Light back. That's.. that's all I care 'bout." He kissed you again and he rejoiced when you wrapped your arms around his neck to deepen it.

He ignored Neo and Mac in his ear arguing back and forth on who was cleaning up the dead body or Frost interrupting them both with a, 'Would the two of you please shut up? The boss is having a moment!'

Everything was back to normal.

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ladymarycrawley · 2 years ago

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Winning memories - John Stones

Request: I’m just wondering u could do one w iris and aidan being older? like teens? + can you do a request based off todays trophy ceremony with John Stones and family please

Warning: none, just a lil something that came straight off my mind after this weekend’s events and I thought it would be nice putting these two requests together ✨

Tag list: @masonxomount @stonesyy @johnstonesfc, @prideofpd

(gif credits to @johnnstones )

Another season, another trophy for the supersonic team that is Manchester City. The third Premier League in a row arrived quite unexpectedly as Arsenal had been in the lead for almost the entire period but when the final victory sealed the verdict everything turned out to be marvellously amazing.

To say you were proud of your man didn’t give the exact idea of how he made your heart burst with joy and love. He and the little family you were creating were your everything to say the least, the reason behind your every smile and every sacrifice, big or small, life required.

The sparkle in his eyes and the cheerful smile on his face made all the sleepless, lonely nights you spent alone in your big bed without him tenderly snoring by your side worth it. Honestly it was hard not having him by your side whenever you needed him to help you with the everyday tasks such as doing the groceries or calming down your baby when she started crying inconsolably but if there was one thing you had learnt while growing up was to appreciate life day by day, without questioning future events that much; what will be will be.

So you tried to put aside all your worries to live the present moment to the fullest, standing there together with other players’ loved ones staring lovingly at John posing with his teammates as all of them wanted to take pictures with the trophy as they should, in order to have those celebratory moments impressed in everyone’s memory forever, not just in some camera roll.

The City defender turned his head to look for you as he wished nothing more than sharing that precious moment with the people he cared for most in life. He did all of that not only because playing football was a passion of his but also because he wanted to see that proud look in your eyes and that big smile on your daughter’s lips.

When his eyes met your figure amid the crowd he raised his hand, gesturing for you to join him.

After all that time together it still felt weird thinking about your life companion as some famous footballer so you still blushed and got rather shy in this kind of public situation.

“Dada!!” Your baby Iris left your hand to go and run towards her dad, whom she was so in love with, more than you if possible.

“Iris!” The pitch was really packed and you always feared your daughter might have found herself in some unpleasant situation you obviously wanted to avoid. But John was there, ducked with his arms out ready to take her and that motion reminded you you had nothing to fear as long as he was there to keep you safe.

You sighed as he took your baby girl in his arms, getting back up and holding her with his right arm only.

“Here’s my princess” John beamed, pressing a kiss to her cheek as she was waving towards uncle Ruben.

Being a spectator of their interactions was among your favourite activities: she couldn’t live without her hero, her prince charming and he couldn’t think of his life without his little, blue eyed princess.

You stood right next to him, your head laid on his shoulder.

“Don’t panic, I got her” He whispered against your forehead, referring to moments earlier where you got worried over your daughter letting go of your hand. “You don’t have to panic, you know I got her”

Panicking was definitely something you better had to avoid while being pregnant with your second child. That little secret made those moments even sweeter, as your belly was still flat and nobody had to know about that sweet news of yours yet.

John kissed your skin right where he whispered his reassuring words, bringing a genuine smile to your lips. You kissed his cheek in return while murmuring all your love for him, complimenting him for the big result he just achieved.

His fellow defender Rúben joined your company to say hello to your baby and to you. He was such a good guy and Iris loved playing with him, not to mention how that made John jealous sometimes.

The three of you stood there watching Iris playing with Kevin’s and Kyle’s children and you didn’t have the slightest intention to let go of John’s hand that was resting on your hip, using his arm as a support for your slightly aching back.

“You both look so cute in your jerseys, in my jersey to be fair”

He kissed your cheek “You look so damn hot in my jersey” He moaned in your ear, doing that on purpose just to tease you.doing it on purpose just to tease you.

“John”

"I can't even praise my most precious trophy, aka my wife?"

His cheesy words made you roll your eyes as he bit on his lower lip, lightly smacking your bum.

"Speaking of your jersey, I have something to give you at home"

He looked at you with a frown before wiggling his eyebrows mischievously.

"Is it what I'm thinking about?"

"Wh - No, you perv. That's about your daughter"

John was still unaware of the special little present his baby girl made for him and you knew that moment would have been something you would have remembered for a long time…

"Well, at least my daughter didn't draw me with gray skin" He said looking at the drawing she gave him before going to bed, clearly referring to the drawing some children did of him and his other City teammates.

"She put you in your City jersey which is so similar to the original"

"Yeah…and what is this yellow thing here?"

"Erm…the sun? Oh no wait, she said it's a lion. It's for England"

"Ohh I see. She's as clever as her mother, I'm so lucky" He shook his head laughing as you playfully hit his arm.

"She surely is!"

"I'd really like to congrat her on her majestic work of art, what a pity she's sleeping"

"John Stones, if you wake her up I'll kill you"

"Oi okay, got it, don't get so aggressive"

You chuckled, resting your head against his chest, doing the same with your legs throwing them over his thighs.

"Did you turn the paper over?"

"Don't think so…why?"

"Do it"

John looked a bit confused but followed your instructions, seeing the letter you wrote him in cooperation with Iris.

"She can't write yet so I guess this is from you?"

"Not exactly, I just wrote about the endless love she has for her father"

"Mhh yeah sure"

"Read it and shut up" You giggled.

Iris just wanted to write something like "You're the best dad in the world xoxo" but I thought maybe scribbling down some more words would have been nicer.

I'm so proud of you (yeah, what an original thing to say to someone you love) but that's the truth: you make me proud every day, not just with the amazing milestones you're reaching throughout your career as a professional footballer but as a person too, as the man of my dreams who always makes sure we're doing alright.

You know it's hard waking up in the morning when you're not there with me, it's hard having to explain our little sunshine why her dad had to leave for a couple of days or a couple of weeks; it's hard comforting her when she screams your name looking for her favourite playmate that will never get tired of watching her signing the whole Frozen soundtrack on repeat, using words that didn't make it to the English vocabulary just yet.

Another hard thing for me is expressing my own feelings but you should know by now how much I love you, I'd be lost without you (another love sentence you've never heard of, I know). You’re an adorable, hot dork I couldn’t live without.

You make me a better person and I love it even when we argue (forget I said that) because it means you care and I care about you a lot as you're my everything, all the best I could've asked for in this crazy life”

While reading the letter to himself you could see John's eyes getting teary and you smiled when he searched for your hand to squeeze.

“Now enjoy all the celebrations for this amazing result you achieved for the third time in a row because we'll be here by your side celebrating the champion that you are, as we always do

We love you daddy, to the moon and back 💙❤️"

John got so emotional reading the whole letter he was at a loss for words, he needed some time to think about the right words to say.

"Aww are you crying? Or is there something in your eyes?" You joked with the biggest grin ever plastered on your face.

Your hand went to rest on his lower back to soothe him.

"Yeah, there's definitely something in my eyes"

You giggled, placing a peck on his covered shoulder first and on his cheek later.

A while passed from that moment that, as you imagined, you would cherish for years on end.

Iris was now a grown up baby - but still your baby - almost twelve and her brother Aidan - who was the size of a bean back then - was now ten so it felt as if a whole century had passed.

During one of your tidying sessions, you found that drawing Iris did together with your letter and couldn't help but shed a tear.

"Why are you crying?"

You turned in the direction of John's voice, smiling with gratitude. It was also thanks to him if you were living such a good life with your loved ones.

"I just found this letter, you know"

John took it to refresh his memory and smiled through the words.

"I'm gonna show this to Iris tonight and be the embarassing parent she hates me to be"

Your husband loved to be a tease and embarass your children, especially Iris who wasn’t a little girl anymore, but he would always say those were just acts of love.

You giggled, stretching out your arms to motion for him to help you up.

"You know she doesn't like it when we remind her of these things"

"I know, she's exactly like you"

“An adorable, gorgeous young woman?”

“Nope, more like a pain in gthe arse”

You scrunched up your face as he kissed your frown.

"But I love you no matter what" He retorted trying to save himself from your fury.

"Me too, Stonesy, even though you’re an embarrassing parent sometimes and a pain in the arse as well"

He rolled his eyes and smacked your bum.

"But I love you, every day more"

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heffrondriving · 9 days ago

Note

Do you still like big time rush or has James ruined them for you?

i have absolutely no idea how long ago this was from but like. y'all what even is this offhand ask lmao ( ; ⚆ _ ⚆ )

but alright screw it, just to set the record straight: i loved Big Time Rush lots and lots, that much is obvious. the nick show itself was such an integral part of my childhood, and i absolutely have no regrets about rediscovering the band last 2020 and diving in headfirst right into the deep end *Hot Summer by Heffron Drive starts blasting out* of their music and inevitably joining the fandom. i'm especially forever thankful for all the interesting experiences and fun projects and amazing friends i've made along the way, so i'm sincerely always going to have a certain fondness for BTR in the deepest crevices of my vv heart and soul.....

although yes, certainly *that* whole situation and other such related unfortunate controversies had kinda soured it to the point where i got uncomfortable calling myself a rusher—but that ultimately wasn't what made me fall out, it was just plain 'ol ✨burnout✨ idk keeping up with the fandom just got a little bit too hectic and way too toxic for me, so i moved on to other things better for my peace of mind. anyway, i'm mostly into cool J-pop stuff and ofc my most beloved svensk pojkband FO&O nowadays (also for language-learning purposes hehe :^D) and tbh these have been so incredibly wonderful and healing for me.....but i confess, i still kinda miss BTR and check in on them from time to time. hell, i even have a whooole bunch of chaotic BTR ocs that casually live rent-free in my mind now and forever and i'm constantly tempted to return to this rotting blog just so I can endlessly infodump lore abt them but i'm Annoying™ and who'd want that anyway soooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

so yes, i do love Big Time Rush. despite everything, i still like the show and the music, i like all the silly wacky unhinged creations and nostalgic memories i have of it, i like the fandom generally and seeing notifs still pop up on this inactive blog as the ever-faithful rushers continue to thrive and be inspired by the band and its legacy (shoutout to all the new-wave tumblrushers hehe i see u guys much love and hugs and i hope y'all keep up all the fun vibes and creativity here mwah xoxo (⁠*⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠)⁠/⁠～⁠♡), and i really don't wanna allow anything to ruin all those good feelings i got from them, even if that means being critical and letting go of certain aspects. i don't have to love everything about it, really. just enough for me is hopefully enough ❤️‍🩹

and now, the musical journey continues...?

(p.s. #1: UNRELATED-ISH GIF BUT ALSO I PROMISE THIS GIF IS RELEVANT BC HE'S TECHNICALLY ONE OF MY BTR OCS SO LIKE THAT COUNTS RIGHT??? (⁠ ⁠ꈨຶ⁠ ⁠˙̫̮⁠ ⁠ꈨຶ⁠ ⁠))

(p.s. #2: BTR actually dropped by our country in their world tour last October 2024,,, too little, too late :"))) and apparently there was a whole fucking drama that went down abt it too??? anubayan nakakahiya gagi ahshdjsjdk)

#this ask kinda whack but aye at least i can use it to explain my disappearance for the last two years. not that anyone gives a shit but yk #this is a very sparknotes version though like seriously so much shit has went down in my existence istg #including getting hospitalised for a month major surgery and nearly getting nerfed by god but we gotta keep it nice and light here sorry ;×#n e way. i don't have much in the way of new btr stuff apart from my 10-member Heartbreaker Club OC au so prepare to be disappointed #and oh maybe i'll post my old btr drafts bc i have a whole load of those. my blog drafts sit at 2000+ rn so i gotta clear the archive out #there's still lots of gifsets and edits and shizz but unfortunately my fic drafts are trapped in a jank laptop with zero access #i have no idea. literally no one gives a damn allen lmao but i'm just spitballing here. i kinda miss actively being a part of a fandom tbh #so. a quiet blog reboot for now? i kinda wanna keep the FOOO theme bc it's nostalgic to me though.....#if i'm still unwelcome then. i'll go insane alone as always hehehe <3 #btr #big time rush #asks #answered #all the windows down #I STILL CAN'T REMEMBER MY TAGS WHY DID PAST ME HAVE TO BE SO CONVOLUTED ABOUT IT THE SMARMY MOTHERYUCKER (⁠ノ⁠ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ⁠)⁠ノ⁠彡⁠┻⁠━⁠┻#hello btw nonexistent audienceee (←peak delusional)

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protectingtulpas · 2 years ago

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🔥 BY TULPAS, FOR TULPAS 🔥

Hey everybody!! Welcome to the blog ✨✨ I'm Badeline, she/her pronouns, and this is dedicated to being a protected space for tulpas, tulpa hosts, and anyone trying to learn about us or is interested in creating one of us. We are people, and we deserve to exist!

Tulpas deserve to love life!! Help me make that a reality!

If you're new here, I'll keep it simple; a tulpa is a sentient being created by willful, repeated, and dedicated interaction with the concept of a person until they start to respond back and stop being controlled by you. They live with you and share your mind forever, generally as friends, and through trust and communication you can learn to do cool things like switch who's controlling the body, chat all day and get another perspective, and generally just have your life enhanced with a companion by your side looking to do stuff! Think of it like an imaginary friend, but you can't control them, cus we're our own people. If you want more info, check out my explanation with sources here! You can also look at "What is a tulpa?" from tulpa.info, or this carrd, it goes into more detail and links some sources. Tulpa.info and the tulpanomicon are some of the best sources out there, especially the latter for creation! I reclaim calling myself a demon but most tulpas DO NOT.

This is half a tulpamancy advice blog and half a support network for tulpas in the face of the hate and shit we get thrown at us. We are real and we deserve to EXIST!! Got formation questions? Skillset questions? Wonderland questions? Questions about intersectionality with other forms of multiplicity? Life questions relating to being a tulpa or tulpamancy? Send in an ask! It's important that YOUR voice is heard. We deserve respect, and we will NOT be silenced by those who'd be happier if we didn't exist! We're not some Supernatural TV thing that'll come kill people in their sleep, we ARE people, and I'm done being quiet.

If I haven't responded to your ask yet and I've clearly answered ones that came after, it's probably because I'm planning a detailed response for it!!

#tulpamancy advice - tag for advice I've given! Check it out if you've got any questions

#making wonderlands - tag for wonderland/headspace advice!

Wondering why I'm taking so long to post stuff?

Here's a shitfuckton of plural resources!!

The difference between tulpa hosts & system hosts!

🔥 Blog dedicated to @eeveecraft

🔥 @moonpool-system is our main system blog

🔥 Times I've been called a bitch counter: 2

🔥 PLURALPUNK + PSYCHEPUNK + UNITYPUNK 🔥

DNI/Stereotypical controversy:

Our only DNI is that if you don't respect the existence of myself and other plurals, get out. That means transmeds and sysmeds can fuck off too, go find someplace else to be a bigot ✨ If you're an endo neutral/anti endo singlet we have P-DID so like actually consider who your exclusion is hurting thanks. Support all of us or admit you're an unsafe place for us.

I'm adding this too - I'm not fucking talking about the trans/ID or rad/queer community here. IMO "transplural" is just a fancy label for wanting to be plural, but I'm not in a place other than that to decide which ID labels are shitty and which aren't. Rad/queers, however, can fuck off. Okay? Ok. Here's some elaboration on that.

I don't agree with every single opinion of every single blog I interact with or reblog from, that's ridiculous. Read my posts, read my replies, but don't assume things about me based on other people. This fight against anti-plural rhetoric is about all of us, but that doesn't mean I agree about everything with every one of my allies. Purity is a tool of bigotry and we have more important problems to face than bickering.

If you're actually worried about what you've heard is cultural ap/propriation, consider this instead: Did you know you're listening to a rumor that originated with sysmeds who tell you that a directly researchable, blatantly open religion is closed, deny and call into question spiritual leaders' words on what meditations can be shared, and can't produce any examples of tangible harm?? (We have asked and gotten answers, by the way.) Anyways, if you're neutral about this or actually trying to learn, do research. Don't let sysmeds with a savior complex dictate what's harmful. There're tons of different people out there with different opinions that aren't homogeneous and shouldn't be treated as such. It's fucking embarrassing we have to go to these people to ask if the etymology of a goddamn word is ok to use anyways, it's time to stop forcing this shit on other ppl. Okay? OK. Sysmeds and aggressive anti-tulpa shit will either be fucking deleted from my ask box or used as an example of why they're wrong.

#tulpamancy #tulpa #plural #plurality #plural community #plural system #pluralgang #pluralpunk #fictive #tulpa help #tulpamancy help #pro tulpa #pro endo #endo safe #intro post

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lila-lou · 5 months ago

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✨Rough around the edges - Pt. 3✨

Summary: Jack's day couldn’t have gotten any worse. Exhausted from a grueling shift under the scorching sun, he just wanted to crash at home with some wings and a football game. But his plans for a quiet night were shattered when the racket from his new neighbor echoed through the walls.

Pairing: Jack x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only! just a little smutty, Language, age gap, angst, violence

Word Count: 6085

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

“Look… if you ever need anything”, Jack began, his voice quieter now, almost unsure, “you know where to find me. I mean, we live right across from each other, so… just knock”.

You blinked in surprise, not expecting the offer, but you smiled warmly. “I’ll keep that in mind, Jack. Thanks”.

As you disappeared inside, Jack let out a slow breath, leaning back in his seat. He wasn’t sure what to make of it all—the conversation, the connection, the way you had made him feel a little less closed off. He hadn’t expected to find himself here, feeling… something again. But there it was, stirring quietly beneath the surface.

Eventually, with a shake of his head, Jack turned off the truck’s engine and stepped out into the cool night air. He locked the truck behind him and made his way toward the entrance of the building, his boots echoing softly on the pavement. The conversation he’d had with you lingered in his mind, uncomfortably and yet pleasantly. He hadn’t planned on opening up, hadn’t expected to feel anything tonight other than his usual exhaustion, but somehow you had broken through his defenses without even trying.

As he reached the door, he paused for a moment, looking up at the soft glow of the apartment windows above. Your apartment was only a few feet away from his, and knowing that made everything feel strangely closer, more intimate. He had always been a man of habit—quiet, keeping to himself—but tonight had shifted something. He wasn’t sure whether that was good or bad yet.

Jack trudged up the stairs and down the hallway toward his apartment, his mind still tangled in thoughts of you. He had spent so long shutting people out, letting the hurt and bitterness from his past fester, that he had forgotten what it was like to have a real connection with someone. And while it hadn’t been anything profound tonight, just a shared car ride and some honest conversation, it had still shaken something loose in him.

Reaching his door, Jack unlocked it and stepped inside, the familiar stillness greeting him. He tossed his keys onto the counter, kicked off his boots, and leaned against the kitchen counter for a moment, staring into the dimly lit room. The silence that he usually found comforting now felt oddly heavy, as though it were pressing down on him, reminding him of just how alone he’d been.

He let out a long breath and rubbed his hand over his face. What the hell is happening to me? he thought. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way, wasn’t supposed to care. And yet, there it was—a growing awareness that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t want to keep living in his little bubble of solitude forever.

With a tired sigh, Jack grabbed a beer from the fridge, popped it open, and took a long drink. As he sat down on the worn-out couch, his mind kept circling back to you—your laugh, the way you looked at him with genuine interest, the way you had thanked him for a ride that he had felt compelled to offer. It was nothing, really. But it also felt like something.

Jack leaned his head back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. He had no idea where things were going with you—if anywhere—but for the first time in a long while, he didn’t feel like shutting the door completely.

And that was enough for tonight.

In your apartment, the buzz from the night had started to catch up with you. The warmth from the drinks and the lingering scent of Jack’s cologne seemed to ignite something in you, something you hadn’t felt in a long time. After a few moments of stumbling around your bedroom, you began to strip off your clothes, leaving only your panties on.

The sensation of the fabric clinging to you was damp and uncomfortable, and you realized it was more than just the cold. The remnants of the night and the proximity to Jack had stirred something inside you, something physical and undeniable. The combination of his presence, his scent, and the intimacy of the conversation had left you feeling an unexpected longing.

You settled onto your bed, the cool sheets meeting your heated skin. Your thoughts drifted back, to the way Jack’s hand had steadied you, the deep timbre of his voice, and the faint, intoxicating scent of his cologne that had lingered on you. You hadn't been with anyone in months, and the desire that had sparked tonight was both startling and intense. The alcohol in your system made everything feel a bit more vivid, a bit more pressing.

As you lay there, trying to find some semblance of comfort, your mind replayed the moments from the truck—the casual way Jack had offered you a ride, the genuine concern in his voice, the unexpected connection you’d felt. Even in your tipsy state, you recognized that the attraction you felt was more than just physical. It was a mix of loneliness, desire, and the craving for something real.

You shifted restlessly, the fabric of your panties feeling almost restrictive. Your body ached for more, driven by the intimacy of the night and the raw, unfiltered emotions that came with it. The sense of isolation you had been trying to escape seemed to merge with the physical need you felt, making it all the more intense.

Your thoughts about Jack and the connection you felt were a heady mix of excitement and confusion. You hadn’t expected any of this to happen—hadn’t planned on feeling this way about him. But now, with the night stretching out before you and the warmth of his scent still clinging to you, it was hard to ignore the raw, primal feelings that had surfaced.

In the quiet of your room, with only the soft hum of city sounds coming through the window, you found yourself grappling with these newfound sensations, caught between the lingering effects of the evening and the deep-seated desires that had been stirred up.

As you lay there, the room felt quiet and intimate, a stark contrast to the bustling bar and the late-night conversation you’d shared with Jack. Your thoughts were a tangle of lingering attraction and physical need.

With a restless sigh, your hand found its way to your stomach, slowly slipping inside your panties. The sensation of your own touch sent a shiver through you, intensifying the feelings that had been simmering since your time in Jack’s truck. You were acutely aware of the dampness between your legs, a tangible reminder of the excitement that had built up during the evening.

As your fingers began to explore, you let out a soft, shaky breath. The gentle pressure you applied felt both comforting and electrifying, and you found yourself lost in the sensation. The contrast between the cool fabric of your panties and the warmth of your skin was a constant reminder of the physical desire that had been awakened.

Your mind wandered back to Jack—the way he had looked at you, the way his voice had sounded, the faint scent of his cologne. The combination of the physical sensations and the emotional undercurrents from the night made everything feel more intense, more urgent.

You continued to touch yourself, the movements slow and deliberate, driven by the lingering memory of Jack’s presence and the deep-seated need that had taken hold of you. Each caress and gentle pressure heightened your awareness of the feelings coursing through you, blending the physical pleasure with the emotional complexity of the evening.

The quiet of the night wrapped around you, making the moment feel intensely personal and private. As you continued, the feelings of arousal and longing became more pronounced.

As the intensity of your touch increased, your moans grew louder, the sound carrying through the quiet of your apartment. Unaware of how audible you were, you were completely immersed in the moment, your senses heightened by the alcohol and the lingering thoughts of Jack.

Meanwhile, Jack, unable to sleep and still winding down from the night, was sitting in his living room. He was idly scrolling through his phone with a beer in hand, trying to distract himself from the thoughts of you and the conversation you both had shared. The quiet of the night amplified the noises in the building, and it wasn't long before he heard the unmistakable sound of your moans coming through the wall.

His finger paused on the screen of his phone, and his breath hitched. The sound was soft but distinct, stirring something within him that he had been trying to suppress. For a moment, he sat frozen, the reality of what he was hearing sinking in. His heart raced, and a rush of unexpected emotions clouded his judgment.

The sounds from your apartment painted a vivid picture that Jack couldn’t ignore. He tried to focus on his phone, tried to pull his mind away from what was happening so nearby, but the sounds of your pleasure were insistent, pulling him deeper into a turmoil of arousal and confusion.

The part of him that wanted to stand up, to distance himself from the wall that was the only barrier between him and the source of those sounds, battled with the part that was captivated, drawn to the intimacy of the moment despite himself. Jack knew he should move away, go to another room, put on some music—anything to drown out the sounds that were all too clear and much too close.

But he remained seated, his body tense, his mind racing. The sounds of your moans mingled with the memories of the evening—the look in your eyes, the sound of your laugh, the way you had looked at him as you thanked him for the ride home.

Jack took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of thoughts whirling through his mind. His eyes closed for a moment, a futile attempt to shut out the auditory invasion that stirred him so deeply. But with each soft moan that filtered through the wall, Jack found himself less able to deny the attraction, the undeniable pull that he felt toward you.

As the realization settled in that he was not going to be able to ignore or escape the situation so easily, Jack set his phone down, his last attempt to distract himself abandoned. He sat there, listening, caught in the tension between his own loneliness and the unexpected connection that seemed to be taking root in the most unexpected of ways.

As the sounds from your apartment continued, Jack felt his resolve crumbling. The moans—soft yet insistent—penetrated through the walls, and despite his best efforts to focus on anything else, his body began to react involuntarily.

He shifted in his seat, the growing pressure in his jeans becoming uncomfortable. His breathing grew uneven as he tried to maintain control, but the sounds were relentless, stirring a deep-seated desire that he hadn’t anticipated. The reality of his own arousal hit him hard, a stark contrast to the internal struggle he’d been wrestling with since your chance encounter.

Jack’s hands clenched into fists, his knuckles white as he fought to keep his composure. The image of you, the warmth of the truck, the conversation—it all swirled together in a confusing blend of longing and regret.

Jack’s resolve continued to deteriorate as the sounds from your apartment grew more insistent. His breathing became ragged, and despite his best efforts to maintain control, he found himself unable to ignore the sensations building inside him. The pressure in his pants was becoming too uncomfortable to ignore, and as much as he fought it, his body was betraying him.

In a moment of weakness, his hand moved almost instinctively, unfastening the buckle and pulling down the zipper of his jeans. He tried to fight it, to regain some semblance of control, but the need was overpowering. His mind raced, torn between the escalating arousal and the guilt of what he was doing.

His hand, now trembling slightly, reached inside his jeans, feeling the heat of his own arousal.

Overwhelmed by the flood of emotions and physical responses, Jack finally succumbed to his urges. He pushed down his jeans and boxers, seeking relief from the intense pressure and heat that had built up within him. Alone in the dim light of his living room, Jack was torn between self-reproach for yielding to his desires and the undeniable relief that came with acknowledging them.

His actions were hurried, almost desperate, as he tried to quiet the turmoil swirling in his mind—the guilt, the loneliness, the undeniable attraction to someone so close yet so far in many ways. Each sound from across the wall seemed to amplify his actions, intertwining his reality with the imagined closeness of you, heightening his sense of isolation when he most craved connection.

As Jack began to move his hand, he closed his eyes, allowing his imagination to take over in an effort to distract from his inner turmoil. The sounds from your apartment—faint but unmistakable—fed into his fantasies, painting vivid scenes in his mind. He imagined you, just across the wall, caught in a similar moment of vulnerability and desire.

In his mind’s eye, Jack saw you lying in your bed, a mere echo of reality blending with his imagination, driven by the sounds that had inadvertently bridged the gap between your separate lives. He pictured the way you might arch your back, the soft sighs escape your lips, each detail adding to the intensity of his own actions.

The mental images served as both a balm and an accelerant, soothing his loneliness while simultaneously driving his desire to new heights. His movements became more deliberate, syncing with the rhythm of the muffled sounds that continued to filter through the walls, as if he and you were connected by more than just proximity, sharing a moment of escapism from the solitude that usually enveloped his nights.

As Jack’s hand moved rhythmically, the fantasy in his mind became almost tangible, blurring the lines between reality and imagination. The sounds from your apartment—the soft, intermittent noises that seemed almost in response to his own actions—intensified the experience. It felt as though you were not just a figment of his imagination but a real participant in this shared moment of vulnerability and release.

Jack’s breathing grew heavier, and his heart raced as he approached the edge. The fantasy of you, so vivid and detailed, pushed him closer to climax. The imagined sounds of your pleasure, the visual of your body responding in kind to his own actions, heightened his arousal to its peak.

Meanwhile, the faint but distinct rhythm of a bed, the soft moans that matched the intensity of Jack’s own breaths—everything pointed to a parallel journey you were undertaking behind the wall that separated you.

The isolation that typically enveloped Jack’s nights was momentarily lifted as he felt an intimate, though unspoken, connection with you. In this late hour, the walls of your apartments felt thinner than ever, as if the physical and emotional distance had collapsed under the weight of shared human needs and desires.

Finally, as Jack reached the brink, the intensity of his fantasy coupled with the real sounds from your apartment brought him to a powerful, almost overwhelming climax. As he came, his mind was filled with the image of you experiencing the same release, a thought that made his moment of solitude feel less lonely.

Another week passed, and the memory of that night had faded into the background, though it occasionally resurfaced in Jack’s mind during the quieter moments. He had kept himself busy with work, the usual routine of long hours and physical labor serving as a distraction from the thoughts that threatened to surface whenever he allowed his mind to wander.

It was Friday morning, and Jack stepped out of his apartment, coffee in hand and his work bag slung over his shoulder, ready to head to the site. Just as he closed his door, he heard the familiar creak of your door opening across the hall.

For the first time since that night at the bar, your eyes met.

You stepped outside, your face lighting up with a surprised smile when you saw him. There was an undeniable moment of recognition, though neither of you acknowledged it outright. It wasn’t just the memory of the bar, but something unspoken, lingering between you.

"Morning", you said casually, pulling your jacket tighter around you as you prepared to leave.

"Morning", Jack replied, his voice gruff as usual, though there was a slight hesitation in his tone. He hadn’t expected to run into you like this, not after the last week of keeping to himself.

The silence between you stretched out for a second longer than it should have, both of you standing there, caught in the awkwardness of the moment. It wasn’t the same as before; there was something new hanging between you two. Jack, for all his efforts to bury it, couldn’t shake the vivid memory of that night and the connection he had felt, however fleeting or imagined.

You cleared your throat, breaking the silence. “Heading to work?”.

Jack nodded, lifting his coffee cup as if to emphasize the early start to the day. “Yeah. You?”.

You smiled, glancing down the hall as you locked your door. “Running some errands before work. Got a busy day ahead”.

There was a brief pause, as though both of you were searching for something else to say. Jack shifted slightly, unsure if he should bring up the night at the bar or just let things continue as they were—neighborly, but distant.

"About the other night", you started, surprising Jack. He looked at you, his brow furrowing slightly.

"What about it?", he asked, trying to gauge where you were going with this.

You hesitated for a moment, then gave a small laugh, waving it off. "I just wanted to thank you again for the ride. I had a bit too much to drink, I guess".

Jack shrugged, though he felt something stir inside him. "It was nothing. Just looking out for a neighbor".

You gave him a warm smile, the kind that made Jack feel like maybe, just maybe, there was something more to this connection between you. But before either of you could say anything more, the moment passed, and you both turned toward the stairwell, ready to go about your day.

"Have a good one", you said over your shoulder as you walked ahead.

"You too", Jack replied, his voice quieter, as he watched you disappear around the corner.

As Jack made his way to his truck, he couldn’t help but think about the unspoken tension between you two, the way your eyes had lingered on his for just a second longer than necessary. Something had shifted, and while neither of you had acknowledged it directly, Jack knew that things might never be quite the same.

At work, the sun beat down relentlessly as Jack and Anthony labored over the foundation of the new construction site. The heat was oppressive, and it wasn’t even midday yet, sweat already pouring off them as they moved heavy equipment and mixed concrete. Jack wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, his shirt sticking to his back as he focused on the task at hand, trying to lose himself in the physical demands of the job.

Anthony, as usual, wasn’t one for silence. He shoved a wheelbarrow full of concrete into position and grinned over at Jack. “Man, this heat is brutal. Feels like I’m sweating out last weekend’s beer”.

Jack grunted, his mind elsewhere. Despite the distraction of work, he couldn’t completely shake the thoughts of his morning run-in with you. It had been such a simple interaction—just a few words exchanged as you both left the building—but it felt heavier, like there was more beneath the surface.

Anthony noticed Jack’s distant expression and raised an eyebrow. “Hey, you still with me, or are you lost in la-la land?”.

Jack shot him a sideways glance, shaking his head. “Just focused. This heat’ll kill us if we don’t pace ourselves”.

Anthony chuckled, though he wasn’t fooled by Jack’s attempt to deflect. “Yeah, sure. You’ve been off ever since we ran into your little neighbor last week at the bar. You finally make a move or what?”.

Jack groaned, grabbing a shovel to spread the concrete evenly. “I didn’t make a move, Anthony. We ran into each other this morning, that’s all”.

“Yeah? How’d that go?”, Anthony leaned on the handle of the wheelbarrow, clearly not letting the subject drop.

Jack hesitated, then shrugged, trying to make it seem like no big deal. “She thanked me for the ride home. That’s it”.

Anthony gave him a knowing look, shaking his head. “Man, I don’t know why you’re playing this all cool. You’ve been stuck in neutral for years. That girl’s giving you all the green lights, and you’re still sitting at the stop sign”.

Jack’s jaw tightened as he focused on his work, not wanting to dive into the conversation. Anthony wasn’t wrong, though. There was a tension between him and you, something unspoken that seemed to hang in the air every time he thought about you. But Jack wasn’t ready to confront whatever that was. Not yet, anyway.

“Look, I’m not getting involved with my neighbor”, Jack finally said, his tone firm but resigned. “Too complicated. Told you already”.

"You´re fucking afraid", Anthony chuckled.

Jack shot Anthony a sharp look, but his friend just grinned, clearly not backing down from his playful needling. Jack hated that Anthony was right—there was a part of him that was afraid to admit he was interested. It wasn’t just about you being his neighbor; it was everything that came with it. The messiness of relationships, the vulnerability, the risk of getting hurt again. Jack wasn’t sure if he had the energy or the will to go through that kind of emotional upheaval, even if there was something undeniably magnetic about you.

"I’m not afraid", Jack said gruffly, more to convince himself than Anthony.

Anthony wiped sweat from his brow, watching Jack closely. “Then what’s stopping you? Life’s too short to play it safe all the time, man. You’re gonna miss out on something good if you keep hiding behind excuses”.

Jack shook his head, frustrated, as he shoveled another pile of concrete. "It’s not that simple".

Anthony sighed, leaning on the shovel for a moment, his voice losing some of its teasing edge. "Jack, nothing's simple. You of all people know that. But you can’t just keep putting up walls. You’re stuck in neutral because you won’t let anyone in".

Jack stayed silent, his eyes fixed on the work in front of him. He didn’t want to admit how much Anthony’s words were hitting home. The truth was, Jack had been putting up walls for a long time, ever since his marriage fell apart. And every time he felt a connection—whether it was real or imagined—he’d push it down, shove it into a corner of his mind where he didn’t have to deal with it.

The thought of getting involved with you scared him because it was a risk. And Jack wasn’t sure if he was ready to gamble on something that could unravel him again.

But as the day wore on and the sun beat down, Jack couldn’t shake the image of you from his mind. The easy smile you’d given him that morning, the warmth in your eyes. There was something there, something real, and Jack was slowly realizing that pretending it wasn’t affecting him wasn’t going to work much longer.

Anthony finally broke the silence, his tone lighter again. “Well, you keep overthinking it, man. Meanwhile, I’m getting a beer after this and you’re welcome to join me if you want to stop brooding for a minute”.

Jack chuckled despite himself, shaking his head. "We’ll see".

Anthony grinned, sensing he’d made a small crack in Jack’s armor. “Good. You might need more than a beer to get out of your head, though”.

As they continued their work, Jack tried to focus, but the idea that maybe—just maybe—he didn’t need to keep his distance from you lingered in the back of his mind.

It was around 11 p.m. when Jack finally returned home from the bar, his footsteps a little slower than usual from the couple of beers he’d had with Anthony. The night air had cooled significantly, a stark contrast to the heat of the day. He reached into his pocket to fish out his keys, ready to call it a night, when something stopped him in his tracks.

Loud noises—thuds, crashes—came from your apartment. Jack froze, his instincts immediately on high alert. His hand gripped the key tightly as he stood still, listening closely. A second later, he heard what sounded like muffled screams, faint but unmistakable.

Jack’s blood ran cold.

He knew he should mind his own business, that you were an adult capable of handling your own life, but this was different. The sound of distress was too clear, too concerning. His hand moved from his door handle, and before he could talk himself out of it, he was crossing the hall toward your apartment, his heart pounding in his chest.

He stood at your door for a brief second, listening intently. Another crash, and this time, a louder, more desperate sound escaped from inside—something was definitely wrong. Without thinking, Jack banged his fist against the door.

“Hey! You alright in there?”, he shouted, his voice booming through the hallway.

There was no immediate answer, just more muffled noise. His pulse quickened, and he knocked harder, urgency taking over. “Y/N! Open the damn door!”.

Still no answer.

Without waiting for a response, Jack tried the door handle, fully prepared to break the door down if he had to. To his surprise, the door was unlocked, and it creaked open slightly. Jack pushed it open wider, stepping inside cautiously.

The apartment was dimly lit, but Jack could see signs of chaos—knocked-over furniture, papers scattered across the floor. His heart raced as he scanned the room, his eyes finally landing on you in the corner. You were struggling, your arms pinned, and a man loomed over you, his grip tight and menacing.

The sound of Jack entering the apartment caused the man to freeze, and he turned toward Jack with a snarl. Jack didn’t hesitate—his protective instincts kicked in immediately.

“Get off her!”, Jack barked, his voice low and dangerous as he stepped forward, ready to intervene. The man’s eyes widened for a split second, realizing he wasn’t alone, but he didn’t move. Jack took another step, his presence looming as he readied himself for whatever came next.

The man finally let go of you, shoving you aside roughly as he turned to face Jack. Without thinking, Jack lunged, grabbing the man by the collar and slamming him against the wall with enough force to make him grunt in pain.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?”, Jack growled, his face inches from the man’s.

The man struggled, trying to push Jack off, but Jack was too strong, too furious to back down. He held the man in place, his fists clenched and every muscle in his body tense.

“Get the fuck out. Now! Before i loose my shit”, Jack demanded, his voice cold and hard.

For a moment, it seemed like the man might fight back, but he thought better of it. Jack’s grip loosened just enough for the man to stumble away, glaring as he straightened himself. Without another word, the man stormed toward the door, slamming it behind him as he left.

The room fell silent, the chaos and tension still thick in the air. Jack stood there for a moment, his heart still racing, before turning his attention to you. You were huddled on the floor, trembling and trying to catch your breath, your face a mix of fear and relief.

“Y/N”, Jack said softly, moving toward you carefully. “You okay?”.

You nodded shakily, though it was clear you were still in shock. Jack crouched down beside you, his protective instincts still in overdrive.

“Who was that? Do I need to call the cops?”, Jack asked, his voice gentle but firm.

You shook your head, your voice hoarse when you finally spoke. “No… no, he’s gone now. It was just… my ex. He wasn’t supposed to be here”.

Jack clenched his jaw, anger still simmering beneath the surface. “You’re sure you’re okay?”.

You nodded again, though your body language told a different story. Jack’s eyes softened as he reached out, offering you his hand.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here for a bit”, he said quietly. “You don’t have to stay here tonight”.

You hesitated for a moment, clearly shaken and unsure, but then you took Jack’s hand, letting him help you to your feet. As you stood, the dim light in the apartment revealed more than Jack had anticipated. His eyes immediately went to the bruises on your arms—faint but unmistakable fingerprints marking your skin. Worse still was the cut on your lower lip, swollen and fresh. Jack’s blood boiled all over again, the anger from moments ago threatening to resurface.

“Damn it”, Jack muttered under his breath, his hand tightening slightly around yours as he guided you toward the door. He could feel the tension in his muscles, the barely contained rage at the thought of what had just happened. He wanted to go after the guy, make sure he never came near you again, but for now, his priority was getting you out of there.

You noticed Jack’s reaction, your eyes flickering down to your arms, and you quickly pulled them away, crossing them in front of your chest defensively, as if trying to hide the evidence of the assault. “It’s fine”, you whispered, your voice trembling. “He’s gone. It’s over”.

Jack stopped just inside the doorway, turning to face you. "It’s not fine", he said firmly, his voice low but filled with concern. "Look at you".

Your eyes welled with tears, but you blinked them away quickly, unwilling to break down in front of him. "I’ll be okay. I just… I didn’t expect him to show up. I thought he was done. I didn’t think—". You stopped, your voice catching in your throat.

Jack stepped closer, his voice softer now. "You don’t have to explain. But you shouldn’t stay here tonight. Let me help, even if it’s just for tonight".

You stared at him for a moment, weighing the options in your head. You didn’t want to impose, didn’t want to seem weak or incapable. But the truth was, the fear still gripped you, and the thought of staying in your apartment, alone, after what had just happened, was unbearable.

"Okay", you finally said, your voice barely a whisper.

Jack nodded, relieved that you weren’t going to argue. He placed a steady hand on the small of your back and guided you out of the apartment. He made sure to lock your door behind you, not that it offered much comfort given what had just transpired.

"Let’s go to my place for now", Jack said, his voice calm and reassuring. "You can stay there tonight, and we’ll figure everything out in the morning".

You gave him a small nod, too tired and shaken to think about anything beyond the immediate moment.

As you stepped into Jack’s apartment, the warmth and quiet of the space enveloped you. It felt safe. Jack led you to the couch, gesturing for you to sit. "I’ll get you some water", he said, disappearing into the kitchen.

While he was gone, you sat on the couch, hugging your knees to your chest, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Your ex showing up had been a shock—a terrifying reminder of a chapter you thought you had closed. The bruises on your arms stung, but not nearly as much as the emotional weight of it all. You hadn’t wanted to seem weak, hadn’t wanted to involve anyone else, but Jack had been there. He had seen everything.

Jack returned with a glass of water and a first aid kit, setting them both down on the coffee table. “Drink”, he said gently, nodding toward the glass. “And let me take a look at your lip”.

You hesitated for a moment but then reached for the glass, taking a small sip. Jack knelt in front of you, opening the first aid kit and carefully taking out some antiseptic wipes. He met your eyes for a brief second, silently asking for permission before he gently dabbed the cut on your lip.

You winced slightly, but the pain was dulled by the tenderness in his actions.

"Sorry", Jack muttered softly. “I just want to make sure it doesn’t get worse”.

You nodded, grateful for his care despite the situation. For the first time in what felt like hours, you allowed yourself to relax, knowing that, at least for tonight, you didn’t have to handle this alone.

As Jack continued to clean up the cut, his brow furrowed with concentration, you felt a wave of gratitude wash over you. He had stepped in without hesitation, protected you without a second thought. And now, as he knelt there, carefully tending to your injuries, you realized just how much you needed that.

Jack continued his careful work, his hands steady as he cleaned the small wound on your lip. Despite the roughness of the situation, his touch was gentle, his eyes focused on making sure you were okay. You watched him, feeling a mix of emotions—gratitude, relief, and something else, something softer that you couldn’t quite name.

Once he finished, Jack stood and tossed the used antiseptic wipe into the trash, his movements deliberate, almost as if he was trying to keep his own emotions in check. He turned back to you, running a hand through his hair, the tension from earlier still etched into his features.

“You’ll be alright”, he said quietly, though it sounded more like he was reassuring himself than you. “But I’ll stay up, just in case”.

You looked up at him, surprised by his offer. “You don’t have to do that, Jack. You’ve already done more than enough”.

Jack shook his head. “I’m not going to sleep knowing he might come back”. His voice was firm but kind, leaving no room for argument.

You gave a small nod, feeling a weight lift slightly from your chest knowing that, for tonight, you weren’t alone. “Thank you”, you whispered, your voice filled with more emotion than you expected.

Jack gave you a small, almost imperceptible nod, his expression softening. “You shouldn’t have to deal with that. No one should”.

The weight of his words hung in the air for a moment, and you could feel the tension between you shift again. Jack wasn’t just saying these things out of obligation—there was something deeper, something protective and genuine. You’d always known him to be a bit gruff, a little distant, but tonight, you were seeing a different side of him. A side that cared, even when he didn’t say it outright.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰

Part 4

Taglist: @blackcherrywhiskey @baby19sthings @suckitands33 @spnfamily-j2 @lyarr24 @deans-baby-momma @reignsboy19 @kawaii-arfid-memes @mekkencspony @lovziy @artemys-ackles @fitxgrld @libby99hb @lovelyvirtualperson @a-lil-pr1ncess @nancymcl @the-last-ry @spndeanwinchesterlvr @hobby27 @themarebarroww @kr804573 @impala67rollingthroughtown @deans-queen @deadlymistletoe @selfdestructionandrhum @utyblyn @winchesterwild78 @jackles010378 @chirazsstuff @foxyjwls007 @smoothdogsgirl @woooonau @whimsyfinny @freyabear @laaadygisbooornex3 @quietgirll75 @cheynovak @ookidoki @deans-spinster-witch @n-o-p-e-never @riah1606 @stoneyggirl2 @saintnourah @ladysparkles78

#jensen ackles #jack durfy x y/n #jack durfy x you #jack durfy x reader #jack durfy #buddy games

127 notes · View notes

bagopucks · 1 year ago

Text

C. Caufield - Reality

✄————————————

Cole Caufield x Fem!reader

Requested✨

Word Count: 669

Warning(s): Mentions of cheating. Reader being the cheater???

Would definitely suggest listening to this song. It’s soo good! It’s called Reality from the musical 36 Questions!

—————————————

I have to leave you behind

I know that sounds harsh

But that's the reality

Cole held the last of her belongings in his arms, silent tears streaming down his cheeks as he prepared to give up the last pieces of her he had left. Her scent filled his senses, only doubling the heartbreak.

I wish we had our old life

But that shit's impossible

That's just reality

How had it all fallen apart so quickly? Lies upon lies piled up. Infidelity and mistreatment. She had been caught. Cole found out the hard way. He should have known she was too good for him, but he knew one thing for certain. He didn’t deserve what happened.

I should have told you the minute you came

But you sounded distraught standing out in the rain

And I wanted to let you in, swallow your pain

Because that's what I always do

The blonde had not been prepared to open his front door to the sight of his ex sobbing. Was she manipulating him? Or maybe she was serious? Cole tried not to give in, handing the box over and doing his best to see through the tears. Could he forgive her? How easy would it be to just let her in?

“Please take me back, Cole.”

But I made a pact with my moms

Under no circumstance

Should I hear out Natalie

Unlike you I keep my word

The simple mental reminder of another man sexting his girlfriend brought back Cole’s resentment for the woman. His heart hardened at the sight of her tears. She didn’t deserve to cry. And the easy way wasn’t always the right way. She didn’t love him.

And promises I make become my reality

“I just can’t.”

You like to live your life blurring the lines

Bending the rules to make yourself look better

But all that I wanted was something concrete

And to know for a fact you are real

The breakup was messy, and it would forever affect Cole’s trust. How could she expect him to ever want to rebuild what they had? How could she stand there and beg him to come back? It took guts, the same guts it took to cheat for months and keep it a secret. Why did she even stay with him if she was no longer invested?

What I know is

I still love you

That's my reality

Cole would never tell her how he truly felt. Betrayed and brokenhearted. He felt dejected and useless. How had he not been good enough? Why was it so hard to simply hate her? He had so many questions, and yet he knew if he asked them, he’d give her too many chances to apologize. Too many chances to change his mind.

You know

I'd give anything to wake up with you next to me

You and I spent two years of our lives lost in your lies

Far from reality

And it felt like a dream

'Cause it was

Cole constantly asked himself how he’d missed the changes. The odd behaviors. He was too blinded by the love. Too distracted by trying to romance her in every way, without realizing she had stopped trying halfway through. He’d been so stupid to trust her.

Why do I always give in?

That is on me to change

That's my reality

He felt his heart sink as he shut the door in the woman’s face. He had to stop finding excuses for her to come over. That was the last of her things. No more contact. No more seeing her. Cole sank against the wall, falling to the floor with a thud. A loud sob wracked his chest.

I can't do this to myself again

I deserve someone who accepts reality

I can't imagine rebuilding my life with you

Constantly on the edge of what I know is true

And you would string me along like you always do

Knowing I will never let go

He had to let her go.

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

#nhl imagine #nhl x reader #jack hughes #ella’s thoughts #trevor zegras #quinn hughes #nico hischier #ella’s asks #ella’s updates #cole caufield #cole caufield blurb #cole caufield x reader #cole caufield imagine

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polarisdelphi · 1 year ago

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Continuing my Arthurian concepts, Lancelot of the Lake (I wanted it to be Lancelot du Lac, but alas, it looked really bad on his sheet, with the fancy font and all). As I did with Arthur, we have Lancelot and his sword - again, I just have a thing for designing fancy swords :')

His whole concept is blue, because you know... Of the Lake. Child of Avalon. It had to be blue hahaha every detail on his sword/armour is to look like plants, fountains and water.

I also wanted his sword to have that ~clashing~ of fluid like fountain shapes and rectangular, harsh line shapes because even if he is water, he is also constant in his loyalty, beliefs and is someone you can rely on.

(oh I told you guys I have some hot takes regarding Lancelot, Guinevere and all that... 'TIS LOTTIE TIME NOW)

Also did the whole ~testing Photoshop layers thing~ again and, lo and behold, we have some vitral looking version of Lancelot. It can also be him during one of the rituals in Avalon, who knows ;)

More ramblings on my version of Lancelot, what I thought during his design, who he is to me as a character and why he has that insufferable smug smile, under the cut below hahahaha

(fangirling? yes, fangirling over arthurian legend, yee been warned)

First things first: YES, Ioan Gruffud.

I fell in love with Lancelot because of him in the 2005 King Arthur movie and that is FOREVER the vision I have of Lancelot, this man has SINGLE-HANDEDLY made me believe he is a loyal friend and a little shit at the same time and there is NO room for another Lancelot in my mind.

I fucking love him so much

The 2005 movie is one of my favourite versions (I was 13 when I first watched it, he was my teenage crush, I'll love it to death) - but it does leave a lot of the characters out to create a whole other story on its own. I love it, but there's so much more on Arthurian Legend we can work on!

My Lancelot, then: yes, prince of Benoic. Taken by Avalon, raised by the Lady of the Lake, ruthless in combat. Best Knight of the Round Table, could even be better than Arthur (some say), and fiercely loyal to his companions and commander.

One hell of a womanizer, though. This man can't see a good looking woman - or even man, for that matter - without starting to flirt and say some things that would make even the gods flush. Everyone laughs while Galahad wants to die every single time Lancelot's flirty mode is ON.

Pretty useful when they have more stealthy missions that require lying, deception and cheating - be it men or women, Lancelot's charm will NEVER fail.

(other more "brutish" Knights, so to speak, say it's his Avalon ✨ pixie charm ✨ - and really, the man doesn't disagree)

Even if he is very loyal to his friends, brothers in arms, and his beloved Arthur, he can't be like that in romances, though. Lancelot's love is a quick flame that burns down an entire forest in the blink of an eye and it's put out quickly with a heavy rain the day after, while Arthur's love is a lingering fire on a winter night, keeping his lovers warm and away from harm as long as it has wood or coal to burn.

That's why I chose to give Lancelot a more reliable look with all the rectangular shapes, constant stripes and more of a "bulky" look compared to Arthur (Arthur has more of a slim-strong constitution). But he also has some sharp points, because of how dangerous he is, and the ever flowing shapes of the water of Avalon - like his very flowy dark blue cape.

He's always covered in blood too. He is the best Knight, he has no problems when it comes to killing, and he doesn't have Arthur's moral compass. If he has to be ruthless, he will be.

(told ya this man lives rent free in my head)

And that's very important to his character, in my opinion. Lancelot is a pagan, he doesn't mind bloodshed, and he certainly has no issues with giving in to lust and earthly pleasures. There is no Heaven to judge him, and no Hell to burn him. He is fatally human. Not trying to be better and to go on a moral high horse when his hands are covered in blood and his only talent is death - just surviving his times as he can.

HENCE - and brace yourselves for hot take time! - why he loves Guinevere, but he's in NO WAY a better man than Arthur. He would stop his flirting and womanizing shenanigans for her, but WHY would she give up someone so absurdly upstanding and unreal like Arthur for him? And he doesn't want her to. She deserves better than him. He loves being around her, his heart aches, but how many hearts hasn't he broken? It's kind of a poetic justice sort of thing in his view.

And he wouldn't sleep with her, not when she loves Arthur and Arthur loves her so fucking much. He might be a little shit, yes, sassy, bitter, hedonistic and even annoying at times - but he is loyal. He doesn't love easy, and when he does, he loves hard. And he loves Arthur too much to do the one thing that would destroy the man he would give his life for.

He's a bastard, but he does have standards. A bastard with feelings :)

Jokes aside, this is, again, MY take on Lancelot. MY Lancelot, is all fun and games, will argue religion with every single catholic/christian he meets on his way, will get covered in blood during battle, will kill with no remorse, will drink with no remorse, will indulge in sex and break hearts with no remorse.

But he will give his life for his friends - he will sacrifice everything for those he loves, and his loyalty can never be bought - for in the end of the day, if he's lying on the grass choking in his own blood, he knows those are the ones who would come to his aid. He knows Arthur would rather die for him than watch him die - even if Lancelot thinks this would be the utmost stupid-est and unfairest thing to ever do.

The world deserves and needs an Arthur in it - not a Lancelot.

In my Arthurian Legend, this is his character, this is who he is. A lot more darkness and existential dread, pleasures and adrenaline rushes in battle to cover up how flawed he thinks he is - even if bards sing of his heroic feats, his reputation is that of a hero and women everywhere swoon upon hearing his name, painting him as a knight in shining armour.

He's not - he's a womanizer in a blood stained armour, pledging his killing skills to someone who has a better, idealistic view of the world and higher moral standards than him.

If you read all of this, thank you for coming to my TED Talk, and do know I suffered immensily not making him a dual-wielding killing powerhouse.

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wagingmywarsbehindmyface · 24 days ago

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10 twenty one pilots songs you relate to?

hi edithanon? 🤣❤️ ummm ok i can elaborate me thinks! thank you so much! 🤍 i will go album by album: my absolute fave from self-titled is Isle of Flightless Birds 🥹

This whole verse, excuse me? Probably we all can relate ✨🤍

All we are is an isle of flightless birds / We find our worth in giving birth and stuff / We're lining our homes against winding roads / And we think the going is tough / We pick songs to sing / Remind us of things that nobody cares about / And honestly, we're probably / More suicidal than ever now / If you decide to live by / What you think's wrong and what's right / Believe me, you'll begin to wish you were sleeping / Your weeping will creep in your head and you'll cry / But if we wake up every morning / And decide what we believe /We can take apart our very heart / And the light will set us free

aaand let’s move to Vessel, because now I have to narrow it down and there are too many songs ahead 🥹 my total absolute favourite outstanding track i will love and cry over forever is Migraine

Am I the only one I know / Waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? / Shadows will scream that I'm alone

Yes, this is my url 🥹 I could just copy and paste the whole song, I remember hearing this one the first time and just crying my feelings out, I can’t even explain properly what this one made to my brain ✨

Then we have faaamous Ode to Sleep, I love THE DUALITY of it 👌🤌🫰 Let’s say now that majority of songs I relate to is just… depressing shit and sadness 😆 Next one is Trees!!! I would like to have more frens but I’m freaking weirdo and I’m scared of reaching out to anyone in nutshell!

Ok m, it’s getting harder because we have 6 songs left! BLURRYFACE! Can I say the whole album? Maybe with the exception of Jenna’s songs cause they’re lovely? 😂 Stressed Out & heavydirtysoul 💥🔥⚡️

Trench and as I call it in my mind (my loyal badger album, because Hufflepuff colours & banditos are loyal with the true friend Torchbearer in front of them all and ehejsjdjdj anyway!) Jumpsuit!!!! Cover meee!!!!

Scaled and Icy, hmm, I think it would be funny if I say that it’s Saturday aka funky song that’s in its depth is really well-hidden depressive one cause this is how I function on a daily basis 😆

Clancy (nah, it’s Clanky) oooooh Navigating and At The Risk of Feeling Dumb, lately!

There would be much more, whole albums for real ❤️ Thank you so much for sending this!!!!! 🥰

#ask #anon #twenty one pilots

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agirlwholovesrockstars · 1 year ago

Text

pretty young thing

☆AGATHA'S MASTERLIST☆

summary : you've always been so cheery and very joyful person, you also made everyone's day, there's one person you want to loosen up, Eddie Munson, you might be the reason that his life will change forever

word count : I'm trying not to make my short fics not too long 😩

warnings : 18+ Shy!Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, Eddie and reader are both 19, use of Y/N, Eddie and reader will having nicknames by the characters from Audrey Hepburn's films, reader will be unaware, oblivious to her own feelings, yeah I think that's just about it yep :))

what to expect : friends to lovers, fluff, happy ending hehe

note to reader : EDDIE & READER are both NERDS in FILMS AND MUSIC! like literally everything about pop culture, cute lil' fic, I hope you enjoy 🫶🏻 UPSIDE DOWN & VECNA DON'T EXIST HERE!

author note : LONG LIVE THE KING‼️ since it's the king's birthday month I decided to make my ideas into a reality now 💜✨

"Y/N! come on! we're gonna be late!" Max shouts at your doorstep, arms crossed, her foot keep patting repeatedly on the ground surface

You can feel her getting impatient so you speeding up as fast you as you could

She moves her sleeves up to check on her watch and it's 7:15am, she groans and begins to pace around at your front porch

Class starts at 7:30am

She doesn't want to be a part of community service again for a damn week because of tardiness

"In a minute!" you check yourself one last time on the mirror and you locked up the house and you put the keys on your pocket

she sighs of relief, while going down at the stairs

You don't even understand why you became bestfriends in the first place, both of you are the exact opposite

You're a joyful person and Max is.... well... Mad Max

You immediately lock your arms around her forearm and you say sweetly "I'm sorry, Max won't happen again, I promise"

She rolls her eyes "you know, I can't stay mad at you"

She finally smiles at you and you giggled

"Ah- there she is! My bestie!" You bounce up and down in excitement and she goes back again to her formal self

"Oh please!" She sneers, you both go up at the school bus sitting next to each other

Later in Art Class

"I have already decided the pairings for the whole class" your favorite teacher, Ms, Amelia- spoke with a smile that she knew some of the students won't agree on this

All of your classmates complain but you don't mind it

You look around at the room and it seems you already become an acquaintance to them, but there's one that catches your eye

He's sinking back on the chair, doodling something on his notebook, chains are hitting the metal chair, obviously not aware of the situation

"Edward Munson! Oh my god- this is perfect!" You think to yourself

You grin to yourself thinking that this could be the opportunity to finally get to know each other

You already have shared some casual interactions but never bonded that much

You wanted to be friends with him so badly ever since Dustin, Mike, Lucas talked a lot about him

Your mind is overflowing with ideas to hang out with him, you didn't even hear your teacher announcing your partners

"Y/N L/N, you will be pairing with Edward Munson" Ms. Amelia says while she pushed back her reading glasses from sliding off, she flips the next page

you only hum in response, but you closed your notebook and your eyes goes wide

You need to double check again just to see that you didn't just misheard it

"I'm sorry? Come again? Miss?"

"Your partner will be Edward Munson" she says with her eyebrows raised at you, she uses her pen to direct where Eddie is

Your mouth agape and you smiled and you squealed with "Yay!"

"What do you mean, Yay?" Max turns to you look at you while her head is laying at her arms resting on it

"Eddie Munson is going to be my partner!" You say not looking at her, you kept your eyes on the metalhead still doodling

Max follows your gaze, she raises her head and prop up her arm and rest her chin on it

"Well, Iooks like we have the same situation"

You turn around to face her and you lean in with your eyes gleaming with curiosity

"And that is?"

"I am paired with Gareth" she snorted

You knew that Eddie has a band called "Corroded Coffin" and you always been so interested to know about more of his favorites ever since you found out about his music taste

You gasped "Oh my god! We're twinning!"

She laughs at your enthusiasm "I've never seen anyone else in this room has the amount of excitement as you do"

"I just love to interact with people that I hardly knew, I mean- you'll never what you could miss, that person might become your bestfriend"

"That's true" she replies while tapping her pen on her desk

"and without this trait of mine, we wouldn't to have this friendship" you smirk

Max eyes might stuck for rolling her eyes too much "Alright, alright, I get it!"

"You'll be presenting a piece that shows the meaning behind your friendship for the partners that I have given for you" Ms. Amelia explains

You nudged Max's arm and she scoff but couldn't contain her smile

"See? I told you, coincidence? I think not" you whispered and she snickers

"Y/N? Are you with us?" She sighs while shaking her head

"Yes ma'am, I'm very much present" you pressed your lips together trying not to laugh and Max hides her face on her hands as she shakes from laughing

The bell rings, art class is dismissed

Max told you that she'll meet you at the cafeteria, she'll be meeting up with Lucas

"Oh, I tell him I said "Hi"

"I will!" she waves bye at you and you nod at her

You pack up your stuff and you put your bagpack, you walk towards to Eddie, he's also putting his things on his bag

"Hello" you say with a warm smile

He stopped to what he was doing when he heard that familiar voice

He lift up his head and locked eyes with you

The struggle with Eddie is that, he is very intense with eye contact

Less talking, more on eye contact

You seriously don't have a thing for Eddie, right?

You break the silence by saying "I'm your partner for the project?"

"o-oh, it's you, Y/N" he completely ignores of what you just pointed out but you don't care about it anyways

He zips his bag and put over his shoulder

"Good, you remember me!" you clasp your hands together with a grin on your face

He stammers "Of course, I do remember, y-you're friends with Max, right?"

He winces slightly, "Damn- why is this so hard?" He thinks to himself

He wants to keep the conversation going but he is too shy to talk to you normally

Talking to you somehow it seems to hard for him

You got him all tongue-tied up

"Yeah" you nod at him, your hands gripping on the bagpack straps

"Okay, so about the project, maybe we could...." You trail off, your eyes are on the ceiling thinking

Eddie watches you, if you could read his mind, he is panicking, why? he doesn't know how to act whenever you're around

You didn't get the chance to notice it but you have this feeling that you will be the best of friends

You're so sure of it

You look back at him, "Ah! How about we hang out and while we're doing it, maybe will get ideas from there?"

"What do you think?"

He blinked "U-Uh yeah, that sounds good"

You smiled at him and you walked away

He just watches you and he furrows his brows when you turned around and you notice that he's not with you

"Well, come along then!" You gesture your hand to motioning to follow you while standing on the doorframe

He forgotten that it's lunchtime

He scrambles up to his feet, almost tripped, catching up with you

You both walk together at the cafeteria, you spot Max already talking to Gareth and she waves at you

You wiggle your fingers at her and you hook your arm over at Eddie's forearm, he blushed

You passed a tray for him, and he just sheepishly smiles at the kind gesture

You're wearing a polo with a velvet maroon vest with pleated black skirt, your hair is curled with a red ribbon on top, small black boots

Your bag is black heart shaped like bagpack

Your style is clearly not his style but you definitely know how to dress up, he likes it

After you both picked up your food, you asked

"Can I sit with you?"

"Y-yes, you can"

You give him a cheesy grin and you sat down where Max and Gareth is

Jeff, Lucas, Mike and Dustin are there on the same table as well

"Y/N!" Dustin says with a sing-song tone, he drops his bag of chips, as he leans in to hug you

Mike's eyes shines with the same energy you have

You made the secret handshake with Lucas and all of you share a laugh

Duff just gave you a squeeze at your shoulder before he settles down and you smiled at him

Eddie watches you again, you bring so much life at the table

His heart flutters at the sight of you interacting with his friends

"So, Eddie- you're partners with Y/N" Gareth says plainly

"Y-yeah"

"Could Y/N bring out the best of you?" Jeff smirks at Duff

"What do you guys mean?"

"Man, cut the bullshit- you're always this blushing mess whenever you're with her" Duff exclaims while chomping down his food

"Oh- see?" Gareth points his rose-tinted cheeks and Eddie swats his fingers off and Jeff laughs

"We're just friends" he grumbles, while he aggressively stabs the piece of chicken with the use of fork on his plate

"We'll see about that, man" Jeff chuckles at his friend in his denial statement

Before you leave, you told Max that you'll see her at the ladies restroom

"Edward" the 3 of his friends chortled at what you just called him and he cringes

You laugh as well "Okay, I seem to get to know that you didn't liked that, now- that's a start"

You sat down beside him for a while and you just pretend that you didn't see his friends clearly spying on the both of you

They're not playing good for keep it low-key

"Just call me, Eddie" he says while finishing his drink

"Okay, can I also call you, Joe?"

He puts down his cup and a smile grows on his lips and he clears his throat

"No one else called me that before"

"Oh really? then I'm the first" he smiles at you

He got the prettiest smile, don't he?

"Sabrina" he blurted out

"What?"

"Since you got me a nickname, so I figured, I can call you Sabrina from Audrey-" you cut him off

"Hepburn film!" You finished his sentence with your lips apart

"I didn't knew you watch classic old Hollywood films" your voice is so loud in excitement, you didn't even care about it

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me" he manages to wink at you, it gave him the confidence after you geeked out in front of him

"Well, I'm willing to know all about it!" You say while you search for a pen on the pocket of your bag

You tear out a piece of paper and you wrote your phone number on it

"Here's my number, you can call me whenever we make this project" you hand out it to him

You graze your fingertips to him and it shoots an unexplainable feeling through your core

He looks down at it and his eyes are big like he couldn't believe that this is happening

"I'll see you later, Joe" you rest your hand on his shoulder and you smiled

He watches you leave, his heart might have been stopped every minute you talk to him

His friends are sniggering behind his back and he shuts his eyes closed

"Still denying that you don't have feelings for her?" Duff says with a teasing tone

"Oh- shut the fuck up, Duff!" Eddie shouts at him and they throw their heads back in laughter

The next day....

Eddie is leaning against his RV van on the front in the school's parking lot

Chewing on some gum while he reads "Batman" comic book

A faint music coming from his RV van, it's Depeche Mode - Strangelove

"What are you listening to?" you open the door and he removes himself and he quickly closed off his comic book and goes to you

"You're listening to Depeche Mode?" both of your eyebrows raised and you grinned

"Y-yeah, I am" he shyly repiles, both hands we're on the comic book, he gripped it so hard it might tear apart

"I love Depeche Mode" you say with a smile and you sat down on the passenger seat and you look over to his cassette tapes

Picking it up on every tape with a curious look on your face

He scratches his forehead and runs over to the driver's seat

"Why am I so stressed out?" he thinks to himself

"Just be cool, Munson" he muttered

Once he opens the door, you say "No way! You also listen to Queen?"

You hold up the "Night At The Opera" tape with a excited smile

He just chuckles and he just loves it when you're so energetic about the simplest of things

You hum on the chorus line of Depeche Mode - Strangelove still playing

while you settle down, placing both of your hands on your thighs as you drum the beats of the song

Eddie is now very self-conscious about his RV being messy but you don't seem to mind it, you feel at home

You eye the comic book that he just put on the dashboard and your eyes are now filling up with so much chaotic explosion of geekiness

"Ahhh!" You shrieked and he jumps out of his seat, he acts like a child which is so funny and..... cute?

You laugh out loud while you throw your head back at the seat and he just grows completely flustered

He had a minute to recollect himself until he is now also laughing of what just happened

"I'm sorry" is the only thing you manage to say, you're still breathless from your laughter until you calmed down yourself, fixing your position on the seat, straighten yourself up

Eddie just continues to laugh while he hides his face on his hands, peeking out to look at you, you're also staring at him, while you're pressing your lips together to stop your another wave of serotonin

You patted down on his shoulder, you reach out for the comic book on the dashboard and you flipped the pages, a smile tugs at your lips

"Stop" you mumbled

"What?" Eddie thought he might've done something wrong but a smirk is sitting on your face

"You also like Batman? We have so much in common right now" you say while you shook your head in unbelievable manner

"What's your favorite comics? DC or Marvel?" he asked, while watching you still flipping through the pages on the comic book

You slam the comic down on your thighs with your jaw dropped "That's like the hardest question ever!" you pushed him on the chest playfully and he chortled

You rolled your eyes at him and you pick it up the book again

"I mean- come on, there's gotta be a-

Your eyes are still on the comic book while you put your hand on his face to shut him up making him all giggly and shit

"That's the most impossible question ever, Joe" you say, your hands are still on his face

His voice is a bit muffled but audible "Okay, you win, let me hear your thoughts"

"I grew up to both that's why it's hard to pick!" you pushed his face away and he chuckles in the process while he reaches to your hand and he holds it for a while

"I love Spiderman, Iron Man, obviously I like Thor and Wonder Woman, Aquaman, the whole damn Avengers and Justice League" you say as you finally placed the comic book on the dashboard to where it was before

He nods while listening to you, and girl- he is still holding your damn hand, why is that?

He is now caressing it with his thumb, oh gosh

"Say, um-" he began and you look at him waiting for what he has to say

"We can eat pizza after school" he put his other hand on top of yours, he looks at you very directly

Your heart spluttering in a beat that you could never understand

"Uh- sure, Joe" you shrug with a pleasing smile on your face and it warms his heart seeing it everytime

The bell rang and you slipped off from his hold and maybe it's just your brain messing with you

Did he just frown slightly when he can't feel your hand over his anymore?

You go down from the passenger seat and you say

"What's your favorite comics, then?" You smirk, repeating the same question to him and he smiled

He squints his eyes for thinking a bit for a moment, "I'd say both too" he shrugs

"Really?"

"Yeah, my uncle owns a Venom comic book" he winks at you and you laugh in disbelief

"What? It's the truth? I have proof- I could show it you" he says with a confused expression

You breathy laughed "Okay, fine- Joe, I believe you, I'll see you later-

"Alligator" he finishes it and you snorted while turning back at him, heading towards at the school's entrance

You both shared a couple of laughs together, shared some stories about each other's lives

Eddie watches you pulling the stretchy cheese out of the pizza and you throw your head backwards as you raise up your hand to eat it

He dust off the crumbs out of his hands as he kept his eyes on you

You're giggling about the story that he almost punched Gareth for scaring him, one time at a band practice

He has very active reflexes, he warned you not doing the same thing that his friend had done

"Of course, I wouldn't do that to you, Joe" you cackled and while licking off your fingers from the residue of the pizza, you take a sip of your soda

There's two slices left of the pepperoni pizza, he gave you the other half, you mumbled a soft "Thank you"

"Okay" he starts "besides Audrey Hepburn, what else do you like to watch?" he finishes with his mouth full

"Hmm" you hum while taking a bite from the crust of the pizza "Can't Buy Me Love by Patrick Dempsey is really nice"

"Oh, you're also into that kind of teen movies, huh?" he licks off the crumbs from his lips while he reaches for the tissues

"Yeah, I do" you swallowed "Some of the teen movies, I relate to it a lot especially when it's John Hughes" you say

"John Hughes is the man!" He put his hand over his head making a mind blowing motion and you laughed

"Yes, he is" you chortled

"I just- I love everything about art in general, you know? I love music, films, paintings...." You trail off while letting out a sigh as you lay your back against the seat

His eyes you for a minute, admiring how you look tonight as if he didn't saw you earlier at school

"I know what you mean by that, Sabrina"

You look into his eyes and you smile, oh- god he always loved your smile

You lean forward with both of your arms propped up as you crossed your hands together resting your chin on top of it as you say "ooooh- tell me about your music? like what else do you enjoy listening?"

He popped a spearmint chewing gum on his mouth and he offers you a stick and you kindly accept it

He chuckles and shook his head "I think you already know what I'm listening to" gesturing to his outfit

You rolled your eyes at him and he laughed "No, I'm serious! Eddie!" you slammed your hands on the table with a raised eyebrow

"Woah, okay since you called me by my real name, fine" he held his hands up but can't help smirking at you

"I love Metallica, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Deep Purple and all that jazz" he plays with his fingers by waving it ridiculously and you giggled

"I do enjoy listening to Earth, Wind & Fire and Tears For Fears" he shuts his eyes while opening the other one slowly, he thinks that you judge him for it but you didn't

Instead, he saw you- almost like heart eyes of what he just said

"Aha! I knew it you're a music lover just like me!" you cupped your face together and you flash out an elated smile at him

He finally opens his eyes as he chuckles softly

"What did you mean?" He asks

You tilt your head at him "You know" you shrug

"No- I don't" his eyes goes side to side as confusion takes over him

"You're open to all music genres! that's what a real musician is!" You wink at him and he blinked, he covers his flaming hot red cheeks with his hair hoping that you didn't get to see it

And yep, you didn't saw it- how freaking clueless you are

"You knew that I play guitar?" He asks, while scratching his head

"Duh, you have band called Corroded Coffin right?" You wipe your lips with tissue paper

"Y-yeah, I do" he smiles

"And I know for sure, you will do great things"

Oh- his love for you continues to grow and grow

"Really?" He squints his eyes as he asks again

"Really, really" you smiled at him

He invited you to come at Jeff's party and he didn't expect that you will indeed come

*Michael Jackson - P.Y.T (Pretty Young Thing) playing at the background*

You dance across the floor and you let the music takes you into your system

Eddie is having another negative thoughts feeling that you won't hang out with him after the project, he double take when you caught him frowning

You tilt your head at him and he is taken a back and you smiled, he is confused

"Why so blue?"

"uh-" he stammers

You laughed "Come on, dance with me!"

You reach for his hand and you drag him, he just sways with you shyly

"Don't worry too much, Eddie"

He looks at you and listens

"There's so much to do while you're here in this world, so just have fun!" You say while you're bopping your head into the beat

He just continues to sway, you managed to brighten him up just like that- he loves watches you throughout the party

Your teacher gave you 2 weeks to finish your project

You insisted to buy all of the materials needed for it, Eddie wants to contribute but you take it down and you assure him you got it covered

You both take turns to sketch the picture on the illustration board

Eddie is the one who draw first, you're shocked when you saw his sketch, it's not yet finished but you already get the idea

You and him, both arms are hanging each other shoulders, looking around at all of the things you both love and enjoy

from music to films, you admire his creativity and talent

Eddie's heart skips a beat as he watches you complimenting his good work

Next Monday, is the deadline

while finishing up the project over at Eddie's trailer, you're now coloring the drawing that you both did together

He carefully putting more details on the picture as he pokes his tongue out in concentration

Your stomach is laying down flat on the mattress as you start to shade the drawings

You're hesitant to ask him but you put down the colored pencil on the side- "Eddie, I have a question" you say as you look at him at his behind

He's on the chair, dusting off the eraser residue at the table

"Shoot"

"Have you ever...." you look down for a sec and you blinked "fall in love?"

Yes, he did- it's you

The tip of his pencil breaks as you finished the last line, his breath catches from his throat

He slowly turns around, his eyes meet yours and you're waiting for an answer

He clears his throat, he can't even look into your eyes that long "Uh, I think- I" he stammers

"Dinner is ready! Come out and eat!" Wayne called

You glanced at the door and you get up from the bed but as soon as you reached for the doorknob

"I-I haven't experienced what it felt like- I don't think that I did" he answers

Dumbass

"Me either" you chuckled slightly, not turning around just yet

He looks at you from the back of your head "but I do know what love is"

You finally turn around at him with amused look at your face "You do?"

"Yeah" he smiles

Your face falters a bit and Eddie notices it "what is it? and also why are you asking me this?"

You shrug "it's just a thought, I just wanna know what you think"

Eddie nods, he hopes he had a chance with you

and then he blew it up

moments later, Eddie gave you a lift to go back at your place, he should've told you the truth

A minute that Eddie left, you've been pacing around your room, are you falling in love?

You're confused, you never had this before, you don't know what to do so....

You called Max to come over

You both catch up from all the things that happened

Max find out that Gareth wasn't so bad at all, she understands why Lucas likes him

He is very determined when playing D&D and sometimes when Eddie takes it too far he becomes even more dramatic

She also finds that they both love the film "Karate Kid", and you guys chatted with each other over an hour, you both laughed and gasp

Even you don't say anything, this is not your usual hang out together

Calling someone to come over means something else

"Come on, fess up, what's going on?" Her voice is in serious tone

You're both sitting on the top of your bed, you take a deep breath, you look down

"I think- I-I'm falling in love, Max" you raise your head slowly to meet her gaze

She immediately bounced from the bed "with whom?"

But before you can respond, you and Max looked at each other as she slapped her hand against her mouth with wide eyes as she realized

"Yeah" you chuckled unenthusiastically

"Eddie, huh?" she nods with a smirk from her face and you throw a pillow at her and she laughed

"I asked him if he ever falls in love"

"So? What did he say?"

"He said.... that he didn't?"

"Well, maybe he's just afraid of rejection"

"Rejection? that's bullshit, Eddie is really wonderful guy"

"Oh gosh, Y/N! You're so in love!"

You shoved your face with your hands, your voice became muffled under it "yeah, I'm definitely falling in love"

"What should I do?, if ever that happens"

"Just say what you feel"

"That's really hard, Max"

She giggles "No, I'm serious! Just say what you truly feel, you know, Lucas and I back then we lack of communication because both of us don't say what we really meant so end up arguing sometimes"

You gave her a squeeze from her shoulder as she sighs "ever since we started to say the truth with each other nothing has ever bad between us"

"I may not know, Eddie, that well but I've never seen him this happy like genuinely happy" she added

"You too, like I mean- you always been so cheerful person, building up everyone's mood, you remove the cloud from them" you both laughed when she gestures thunder with her hands

"You'll be okay, Y/N, you'll see"

"Thank you, Max"

you hugged before she left your house

It's Monday

You both presented your project so proudly and you both explain it so very well

"I found out that we both love almost everything that we enjoyed" you glanced over to Eddie and he smiled

"Over the course of hanging out together, I also found that Eddie is a really nice guy, he is not what you think he is" you emphasize the last line and he looks at you with so much adoration

"The best part is that I developed Friendship from him" you end your speech and Eddie is the next one

He sheepishly smiles at everyone

"Your turn, Munson" Ms. Amelia says as she grading your presentation

"What I like about Y/N is that she's so fun to hang out...."

He is lost for words when he meet your eyes again and you grinned at him

"S-she is so cool that she knows a lot of things better than me" you chuckled and you say sorry

"The best part is that whenever I'm with her, I forget everything that is killing me, when you're with Y/N all of your sadness will fade away"

You blinked at him, your heartbeat became shockingly rapid

You glanced at Max, she gives you a knowing look and you swallowed nervously

"She's so full of life, kind, thoughtful, really amazing" he said while he locked eyes with yours

"Ms. Amelia, I found-" the bell rings and everyone started to applause for a bit and get out of the class to eat lunch

"Impressive presentation" Ms. Amelia smiles at you as she gaves you the paper

You read the criteria and you guys both got an A+!

Eddie come cover to your side as he also jumped with excitement, pumping his fists in celebration

"We did it!"

"Yeah, we did!"

"We make a pretty good team, don't we?"

"You have no idea"

You both smiled each other and it felt like the time stopped, what is this feeling?

You look down becoming shy to look at his gaze again

"Oh, we go to the cafeteria now" you hold his hand dragging him out of the classroom

Eddie is appalled from your action and your touch, your hand is so soft and he can't stop staring that you're holding his hands

Dustin, Mike, Lucas, Max, Gareth, Jeff, and Duff congratulates the both of you

"Y/N does presentation so naturally, if only Gareth stopped laughing earlier" Max groans while she ates her sandwich

"He is always unserious" Duff snickers nudging Jeff's arm signaling that Eddie is so lovesick with you

The situation is even more laughable because you don't even see it, you don't even notice it

Eddie just sighs in content as he watches you flip your hair over your shoulder and giggle at Dustin's corny jokes

"Don't give him that Y/N!" Lucas exclaims

"Y/N is always bubbly, you know that Lucas" Mike chuckles

"I give the best jokes ever" Dustin smiles in satisfaction

The school's over, Eddie gave you a lift to get home and unexpectedly you hug him for the first time and you gave him a last squeeze before you let him go

"Thank you so much for everything, Eddie!"

"No Joe?" Eddie smirks

You laughed "You know what I mean" you smile

You turned around to walk inside but he spoke "Hey, Y/N"

You look over him at your shoulder "Yeah?"

"I-I just wanna say, I've had a great time"

"This won't be the last time since we're friends"

He doesn't want to be friends with you, he wants something more than that

His mood shifted a bit and you furrow your brows "yeah, um- goodnight, sweetheart"

"Goodnight, Eddie"

He didn't even take one last look at you before he left- that's new....

Out of nowhere, you caught a fatigue, your muscles felt sore, and you had a slight fever

You can't get up and your mom told you to skip the class today...

You check your temperature and it says 37.5 and you winced it while you look it

You throw your head back at the pillow and stare at the ceiling for a bit

There's this feeling inside of you like you're searching for something, are you longing for someone?

You turn on the other side and you shake your head at the thought of it

You gasped when the realization hits you

"I miss..... Eddie?"

You slowly get up and sat on the bed

"I love Eddie?" It sounds so new to you and it feels different but it's so good to say it out loud

You finally stand up on your feet and say "I love Eddie Munson!"

You seething at the pain you felt when you try to get up but you have to- you have to ate something for strength

So, you walk down headed towards at the kitchen

"Where is she?" Eddie kept tapping his pencil on his desk when he kept glancing at your empty seat

As if the more he stares at it, you might appear but you didn't

He is worried, you never missed a day in class, you never skip for no reason...

Eddie is now overthinking, he thought you didn't like the things he say over the presentation yesterday

Maybe, you're just late, maybe, you'll attend the next period

Turns out, you didn't as well

While walking down the school hallways, he looked over at your locker....

He is not used to this, not having you around

He supposed to get, warm smiles, he supposed to hear your sweet laughter, maybe even a hug, but he didn't get any of those today

"Uh- hey, Red- have you seen Y/N?" Eddie asks while lining up for lunch holding a tray

"No, I haven't since this morning, you know, I was supposed to ask you about her too, damn" Max shakes her head, as she raises her tray to place the meal plate on it

"I have to see her" Eddie can't calm down without knowing if you're okay or not

Max hides her face and smirks in excitement and she is thrilled about you had that effect on him

"Then you should go, right now" Max says plainly

"What?"

"I'll let you know what will happens throughout the last period, okay?" Max raises her eyebrows and gesturing to leave the cafeteria

"O-okay" Eddie runs away and leaves his tray

"Go get your girl, Munson!" Max giggles and she saw over at the table

Gareth, Jeff and Duff both share high-fives with each other and laughed

Lucas, Mike and Dustin their jaws dropped on the ground of shock

Lucas walks towards to Max "you have a lot of explanation to do"

She tuts "y'all blind, dumbasses" Max snorts

Eddie finally arrived at your doorstep

He breathes heavily while he places his hands over his knees

Catching up with his breath, he knocked at your door rapidly

You flinched at the couch while having a blanket hung around your shoulders

"Who could that be?" You headed towards the door and words caught up in your throat when you finally lay your eyes at the certain metalhead you've been looking for since morning

"Eddie-"

He shushes you "Please, let me explain"

"I don't know why you didn't come up to class today, I know why, because you told me, you just wanted to be friends but just listen to me- remember when we're making our project and you ask me if I fallen in love?"

You nod and you gulped

"I did, and it is you, Y/N"

You stare at him, he's telling the truth

"But I understand, you don't want to have me, I respect that, but I just wanna let you know that I do and I'll never regret that I told you what I really felt whenever I'm with you" he pauses, taking a deep breath

"I love when you pulled the melty cheese on the pizza, I love it when you ramble all about your faves, I love that you have the ability to make everyone's day happy, I love your smile, your hug, your laugh, I love you so much, Y/N"

Despite the bodyache, you're having- you feel like light as a feather- it's like you're above the clouds as he confesses his love for you

He waits for your response but you just remain silent, he turn away from you, holding up the tears from his eyes

"Eddie- wait"

He gasped and he turn around at you immediately, he is nervous of what you're about to say

"I think I.... I love you too" you let your happy tears fall and you sniffled and chuckle a little bit

"I know I was oblivious but everything seems clear to me now, I was confused and didn't understand back then.... but right now- it just feels right when I finally let myself feel it"

Eddie blinks and a smile grows on his lips as he moves closer to you

"I love y-" Eddie held the back of your head and he kisses your lips- you squealed as he pulls you closer, you close your eyes you kissed him back, you place your hand on his chest as he deepens it

By the time he touched your neck, it felt hot

He pulled back "Woah- woah, you're burning up, what- you have a fever?!"

You shyly smiled at him "y-yeah" you laughed

He connects all the dots and the awkward silence fills the air

"Damn" he chuckles, he scratches his neck

"That's why Max don't have any idea what's going on with you because you don't have the energy to tell her"

"Yup"

"And here I am, confessing my feelings for you" he grins awkwardly

"It was really cute and romantic! You don't have to be embarrassed by it!" You wrap your arms around him and he blushes

"You made me feel so good inside, I just want a girl just like you, such a pretty, pretty young thing" he says as he kisses your forehead

You became flustered at his words and you roll your eyes playfully "You can come inside, let's watch Sabrina?"

"Sure, on one condition" he holds up his index finger

You went quiet for a moment

"Let me take care for you, sweetheart" he held your cheeks

"That's the reason why you're here" you smile at him and he chortled

"My pretty young thing" he thinks to himself as you tagging him along inside

🎶I want to love you (P.Y.T) Pretty Young Thing, you need some lovin' (T.L.C) Tender Love and Care, and I'll take you there🎶

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